.:floraldance:.

i haved moved to LJ!

2006-04-26T21:06:00.000+08:00

Hello everyone! I've moved to LJ (yes, back to LJ again)

website URL is

http://floraldance.livejournal.com

. Go visit! :) Bye bye to BLogger!

napfa and sailing

2006-04-23T19:26:00.000+08:00

I'm finding it increasingly difficult to blog frequently. Not surprising, considering the accumulation of untouched tutorials and tests. I'm not very inspired to blog; sometimes I wonder why I blog at all -- but then I realise that I blog to keep track of my life in softcopy, so that when I look back, I can still remember days of the past. Forgetting where your days went, and the happy times you spent with your friend...that's very sad.

Anyway, I'm happy that my fitness level has improved! For NAPFA, I did 37 situps, 20 pullups, 55 for sit-and-reach, 11.2 for shuttle run (I finally got A for shuttle run!), 181 (yikes) for standing broad jump, and for 2.4, my last timing was 11.40, so getting A (only 14.30 for girls) should be easy. Which means, I get 29/30! Yay! On top of that, I went for the Girls 3000m run -- timing was 14.19, 5th out of 8th. Quite lousy, but at least I didn't get last, haha.

On Friday, I went with Jin Quan, Zi Chong and Geordie to enquire about the Tahan tour -- the guy was finally there! Sounds quite interesting, not as challenging as I had imagined it to be, but I just don't like the part about leeches. And I'm absolutely certain that leeches don't fly, so don't try to trick me into thinking otherwise. Dinner --buying dinner for someone else-- was very interesting! Geordie got the easiest task -- buying for Zi Chong. Jin Quan bought for Geordie, I bought for Jin Quan, and Zi Chong bought for me -- claypot froggies! Which, fortunately for me and unfortunately for him, I enjoyed a lot (affording little amusement / entertainment :P)

Went sailing yesterday with Zi Chong and Eden, and tried a Byte for the first time. I fell in love with it! So agile and light and fast! And the weather was much better than last week -- light wind though a little gusty. I'm happy that my hiking has improved (the ab exercises paid off!) but I still harbour a fear of the boom and of capsizing that I need to overcome, and it probably doesn't help that I capsized 5 times (3 times accidentally, 2 times intentionally) during the 3 hours out at sea. I don't think I'm too light for the Byte, though I've only tried sailing it in light wind. But I'll have to get more practice. And I'll need a knee pad -- my knees got totally owned! Lots of blueblacks now. Sailing is burning a hole in my wallet --nearly 30 bucks for 4hrs of rental -- but it's very enjoyable nonetheless.

After lunch, I went to BoatAsia at Sentosa with Zi Chong. Lots of luxurious powerboats and several magnificent keelboats! There was one gigantic keelboat which looked like a water palace -- 40 million bucks! If I were extremely rich I'd buy this big boat. If I were very rich I'd buy the 53-foot Oceanis which is...beautiful! I love the colour scheme! I've never really been on a keelboat before, sadly. Imagine being able to heel without capsizing! Best of both worlds.

After shopping for a green top, I arrived very late for the fac outing. Surprisingly, it was held in a restaurant! The outing was alright (didn't really have very high expectations to begin with) and rather amusing. And the turnout from SixOh was extremely poor -- only Jonathan, Wei Xiang, Zi Chong and I went. So we sat with 6C and 2 seniors -- Pei Han and Zi Yang at the table. Reached home at 10.40, extremely exhausted (lugging around a big bag full of wet clothes the entire day is seriously tiring!).

Today I slacked the whole day off, shopped for -something- in the afternoon, only starting on my KI paper now. I am so going to die, what with Bio test on Tues.

On a sidenote, I'm seriously considering switching back to LJ again. The main reason why I switched to Blogger from LJ was because I wanted my own nice customised background. But there's a html glitch somewhere and the background disappeared, so I see no more advantages Blogger holds over LJ. And it's much easier to view others' LJs.

hyperactivity + more interesting quizzes!

2006-04-17T19:35:00.000+08:00

Today was a hyper-active day for me. Slept 4 hours the night before, but drank ginseng, ran 4km in the morning, and drank a whole cup of iced mocha, so I ended up hyperactive and unable to sit or stand still for the rest of the day.

Chinese lesson was, as usual, very interesting! In fact the most interesting lesson in school now, the only drawback being that I'm not with the class. Today, we spent only 10% of the lesson going over the short story by Lu Xun. Most of the time was spent talking about Xie Lao Shi's travel in Nepal, Kashmir and Xinjiang, and the Discovery Channel documentaries about people who escaped death. hehe, so fun!

Did some situp practice just now. I'm so lousy! I can only do 30 situps in 1 minute! The problem with me is that, I can do MANY situps / other ab exercises, but I do them over a long time. I just don't seem to do them fast enough. As in, I'm not tired in the least after doing 30 situps in 1 minute (so slacky). But I just can't do them fast enough! ARGH! Why must speed instead of endurance be tested? I will fail my shuttle run tomorrow! I always take my time accelerating, and end up accelerating past the beanbag, having to turn back, run back, pick up the bean bag, then run back again. So stupid of me.
-------
I'm addicted to quizzes!

Your Candy Heart Says "Hug Me"

A total sweetheart, you always have a lot of love to give out.
Your heart is open to where ever love takes you!
Your ideal Valentine's Day date: a surprise romantic evening that you've planned out
Your flirting style: lots of listening and talking
What turns you off: fighting and conflict
Why you're hot: you're fearless about falling in love

What Does Your Candy Heart Say?

I love hugs! :)

What Your Face Says

At first glance, people see you as confident and determined.
Overall, your true self is passionate and physical.
With friends, you seem dramatic, lively, and quick to react.
In love, you seem mysterious and interesting.
In stressful situations, you seem cheerful and optimistic.

What Do People Think Of Your Face?

You Are a Bright Star Soul

Like a shining star, you have no trouble being the center of attention
In fact, you often feel a bit hurt when all eyes aren't on you
You need to be number one in everything, no matter how trivial
And it's this ego that both hurts your confidence and helps you acheive

You're dramatic and a powerhouse of pure energy
You posess a divine quality or uniqueness that's hard to define
A natural performer, it's likely you'll become famous in some circles.
Just learn not to take everyone's reaction to you so personally!

Souls you are most compatible with: Newborn Soul and Prophet Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

You Are a Frappacino

At your best, you are: fun loving, sweet, and modern
At your worst, you are: childish and over indulgent
You drink coffee when: you're craving something sweet
Your caffeine addiction level: low

What Kind of Coffee Are You?

Your Seduction Style: The Natural

You don't really try to seduce people... it just seems to happen.
Fun loving and free spirited, you bring out the inner child in people.
You are spontaneous, sincere, and unpretentious - a hard combo to find!
People drop their guard around you, and find themselves falling fast.

What Is Your Seduction Style?

You Are 16% Evil

You are good. So good, that you make evil people squirm.
Just remember, you may need to turn to the dark side to get what you want!

How Evil Are You?

Your True Love Is a Scorpio

Why you'll love a Scorpio:
Strong and sexy, Scorpio will overpower you into falling in love (before you even realize it!).
You'll love being swept away by Scorpio - into a world of insane passion.

Why a Scorpio will love you:
You don't mind letting your Scorpio take the reigns, as long as you know you're truly cared for.
Loyal and devoted, you would never do anything to set off insanely jealous Scorpio.

What Sign Is Your True Love?

LOL.

You Are Figure Skating

Graceful and expressive - yet athletic and focused.
You could bring the best of both worlds to this glamorous sport.

What Winter Sport Are You?

You Are A Weeping Willow Tree

You are a dreamer, and you're into almost any kind of escapism.
Restless and capricious, you love to travel to exotic places.
You are easily influenced by others, as long as they don't pressure you.
You tend to suffer in love until you find that one loyal, steadfast partner.
An empathetic friend, you love to make others smile and laugh.

What is Your Celtic Horoscope?

Who Should Paint You: Roy Lichtenstein

Larger than life, your personality overshadows everyone in the room
A painter would tend to portray you with a bit of added flair!

What Artist Should Paint Your Portrait?

You Should Learn French

C'est super! You appreciate the finer things in life... wine, art, cheese, love affairs.
You are definitely a Parisian at heart. You just need your tongue to catch up...

What Language Should You Learn?

Heey I've always wanted to learn French!

Your Hidden Talent

Your natural talent is interpersonal relations and dealing with people.
You communicate well and are able to bring disparate groups together.
Your calming presence helps everything go more smoothly.
People crave your praise and complements.

What's Your Hidden Talent?

You Are 20% Abnormal

You are at low risk for being a psychopath. It is unlikely that you have no soul.
You are at low risk for having a borderline personality. It is unlikely that you are a chaotic mess.
You are at medium risk for having a narcissistic personality. It is somewhat likely that you are in love with your own reflection.
You are at low risk for having a social phobia. It is unlikely that you feel most comfortable in your mom's basement.
You are at low risk for obsessive compulsive disorder. It is unlikely that you are addicted to hand sanitizer.

How Abnormal Are You?

This is amusing.

You Aren't Scary, You're Scared

Probably even scared to see how this quiz came out!

How Scary Are You?

Ayyye.

People Envy Your Compassion

You have a kind heart and an unusual empathy for all living creatures. You tend to absorb others' happiness and pain.
People envy your compassion, and more importantly, the connections it helps you build. And compassionate as you are, you feel for them.

What Do People Envy About You?

But I hate insects!

You Have Low Self Esteem 8% of the Time

Which can be translated to mean, you have high self-esteem and a healthy sense of self worth.
You believe in yourself, and you know how to be the real you. You love yourself, imperfections and all.

How is Your Self Esteem?

haha, yay.

Your Inner Child Is Surprised

You see many things through the eyes of a child.
Meaning, you're rarely cynical or jaded.
You cherish all of the details in life.
Easily fascinated, you enjoy experiencing new things.

How Is Your Inner Child?

Your Inner European is Russian!

Mysterious and exotic.
You've got a great balance of danger and allure.

Who's Your Inner European?

Your Lucky Underwear is Purple

Dreamy and idealistic, you envision great things for your life. Your lucky purple underwear can make those dreams come true!
You're a busy little butterfly. You have the most projects, interests, and friends of anyone you know.
You also have a flair for the dramatic. Sometimes too much drama comes in to your life and brings things to a stop.
If you want to focus more, and flutter less, put on your purple underpants. They'll help you get the important things done.

What Color Is Your Lucky Underwear?

LOL. Picture is censored. :P

Your Birth Month is March

You love life and exude an outgoing, cheerful vibe.
Blessed with a great sense of humor, you can laugh at adversity.
Your soul reflects: Respect, desire, and generosity
Your gemstone: Aquamarine
Your flower: Daffodil
Your colors: White and light blue

What Does Your Birth Month Mean?

fun quizzes!

2006-04-16T11:14:00.000+08:00

You Are Cherry Pie

You're the perfect combo of innocent and sexy
Those who like you enjoy a contradiction

What Kind of Pie Are You?

You Are Rain

You can be warm and sexy. Or cold and unwelcoming.
Either way, you slowly bring out the beauty around you.

You are best known for: your touch

Your dominant state: changing

What Type of Weather Are You?

that's surprising. I always thought I'd be fine weather.

You Are a Yellow Flower

A yellow flower tends to represent joy, friendship, and playfulness.
At times, you are childlike, as a buttercup is.
And at other times, you are fickle, like a dahlia.
And more than you wish, you tend to feel bittersweet, like a marigold.

What Color Flower Are You?

You Are 30% Boyish and 70% Girlish

Even if you're not a girl, you're very feminine.
You're in touch with your feelings, and your heart rules you.
A bit of a emotional roller coaster, one moment you're up and the next you're down.
But no matter what, you try to be as cute and perky as possible.

How Boyish or Girlish Are You?

gah. inaccurate.

Your Eyes Should Be Brown

Your eyes reflect: Depth and wisdom

What's hidden behind your eyes: A tender heart

What Color Should Your Eyes Be?

LOL. I'd rather have purple eyes. Me - wise? Hoho, great joke. :(

You Are Mexican Food

Spicy yet dependable.
You pull punches, but people still love you.

What Kind of Food Are You?

Interesting.

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved.

You'd like to your lover to think you are optimistic and happy.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic.

Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

What Your Sleeping Position Says

You are calm and rational.
You are also giving and kind - a great friend.
You are easy going and trusting.
However, you are too sensible to fall for mind games.

What Does Your Sleeping Position Say About You?

I need my bolster.

You Are 72% Happy

You are a very happy person. Generally, you feel content and that all is right with the world.
Occasionally, you have a down day - but you have the ability to pick yourself right back up.

How Happy Are You?

You Are a Daisy

You see the world with an artist's eye.
Finding beauty is easy for you - even in the dullest of moments.
You notice all of the colors of the world, from fresh grass to sunsets.
You are a total optimist and hedonist. You love to drink life in.

What Flower Are You?

You Are a Lace Bra!

Dreamy, romantic, and ultra-feminine
You're a womanly woman who makes guys feel like men
Your perfect guy is strong, determined, and handsome
With a softer side that only you can draw out

What Kind of Bra Are You?

LOL. Picture is censored. :P

sailing and slacking

2006-04-16T11:08:00.000+08:00

Went sailing again yesterday with Zi Chong. In the morning while waiting at Bkt Batok mrt, I took a walk around Bkt Batok, back to my childhood home. Tried to picture, behind those foreign new doors, what my old childhood home was like, conjuring up those childhood days in my mind again. I'm glad I had a very happy childhood.

At SAFYC, there was extremely light breeze and didn't really get to sail much, but I practised tacking, jibing and hiking. Quite slacky but relaxing and nice anyway. Taking a bath after being out in the sea for a few hours certainly feels heavenly!

After lunch we met up with Jin Quan only to find the person-in-charge of the Tahan trip off-duty. Such a pity. It rained so we went to Zi Chong's house to slack and play cards. Jin Quan won 8 rounds and I finally ended his winning streak in the last round! Hehe. He won less than $1 (1 cent per card).

Slacking with friends is much much more fun than slacking alone. Happy day overall. :) Am looking forward to the Tahan trip! And windsurfing as well!

egg-drop, sports heats, and today

2006-04-14T20:39:00.000+08:00

I haven't posted in such a long time! Recently I've taken to writing in my diary (yes I keep a private personal diary) instead because it's so much more convenient and faster to scribble your thoughts down onto paper. The process of writing is so much more spontaneous than typing; we use the backspace button so much in typing. On top of that, my computer is cranking up (there's something wrong with the monitor so I'm actually using my dad's computer now) so I can't really be bothered to use the computer that much.

Thursday.
To catch up with the events of the past week...Yesterday's highlights were the Egg-drop project Prelim trial during Physics lab, and the sports heats. The egg-drop trial made the whole physics lab lesson (or at least that last part of it) the most interesting and amusing lab lesson this year. I had such a good long laugh that I'm sure it gave my abs a great workout, when Sam threw his egg package so hard against the wall such that the egg flew out and smashed right at Mr Loi's feet, after at least 2 failed attempts at smashing the egg in the structure.

While waiting for the heats, it was very amusing with Geordie laughing at all the contestants ("That fat guy! Sure get last one!") and later trying to poke his finger through a rubber band, apparently trying to test his reflexes but secretly aiming to poke Jin Quan. Then we played frisbee!

As for the 8X200 relay itself, it was rather disheartening at first because some people who signed up chose to not go for the relay, to go for their lessons instead, so we had insufficient girls on the team. In the end, thanks to Pauline and Miao Qin, we finally had 4 girls. The team consisted of Jin Quan, Wai Hong, Jonathan, Wei Xiang, Siobhan, Miao Qin, Pauline and me. I'm really grateful to all of them for showing class spirit and putting the class above self. Of course not forgetting the people who came to watch and support the class as well: Geordie, Zi Chong, Yang Sai, Siew Ching and Michelle. Even though we finished 5th, at least all the runners tried their best, which makes up for everything. And I realised that when you run or participate in a competition, watching and cheering from the sidelines is really the greatest form of support for the participant.

Friday.
Was supposed to play tennis with Zi Chong and Geordie at my house today, but due to the evil persistent rain, we went to Lot 1 to watch a movie instead --the "Disney-movie", "Eight Down". Quite a nice feel-good movie but not worth $9.50. Then we went back to my house again but unfortunately the tennis courts were now booked by some old uncles, so we didn't play tennis at all, but walked about the entire day lugging around a total of 5 tennis rackets and 2 badminton rackets everywhere. Slacky but a nice way to pass time; it's definitely much better slacking with friends than slacking alone at home in my room.

After dinner, I spent more than one hour talking with my sister, laughing at funny things with her and making such a racket that Dad and Mom were pissed at us. Laughing really bonds people together, and make them feel closer. Laughter is good. So is a smile! Happy smiles and laughter brighten up each day for me.

I am going sailing tomorrow! Yay! Weather, be kind!

contemplations

2006-04-08T20:16:00.000+08:00

A poem I’m sure most people have seen before, but doesn’t hurt reading it again, just to remind us all…

Slow Dance
Have you ever watched kids
On a merry-go-round?
Or listened to the rain
Slapping on the ground?
Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight?
Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?

You better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.

Do you run through each day
On the fly?
When you ask, “How are you?”
Do you hear the reply?
When the day is done
Do you lie in your bed
With the next hundred chores
Running through your head?

You'd better slow down
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.

Ever told your child,
We'll do it tomorrow?
And in your haste,
Not see his sorrow?
Ever lost touch,
Let a good friendship die
Cause you never had time
To call and say,"Hi"

You'd better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.

When you run so fast to get somewhere
You miss half the fun of getting there.
When you worry and hurry through your day,
It is like an unopened gift....
Thrown away.

Life is not a race.
Do take it slower
Hear the music
Before the song is over.

***

Have you slowed down, taken a break from the usual hectic pace and routine of life, just let go of all the nagging worries, homework you have to do, tests you have to mug for, and just let things pass you by instead of always rushing past things (in other words, “stoning” in a way).

That’s what I did today. Was supposed to sail a Laser Pico with Zi Chong today, but when we got to SAFYC at Sembawang, the sky was constipated and we couldn’t sail, so we spent the time watching the sea -- what people normally call, stoning.

Stoning has such a negative connotation. It implies that you are wasting time. But why? What is spending time meaningfully, and what is wasting time? What is the difference between the two? Why is it that we only call something not a “waste of time” when it produces tangible results? Is watching the sea, feeling the wind, de-stressing, enjoying the company and chatter of friends, any less “meaningful” than sitting down cooped up alone in your room, memorizing chunks of text and information (which you would probably not require in the future, and which would probably not add to your happiness in anyway, only killing your brain cells.)?

(this is why I never connect on the same wavelength as my mom. We have different definitions of a “meaningful” life and time “well spent”.)

And the sea. I’ve been drawn to the sea since young. Why I love it so much, I can’t really explain. It’s like a calming, all-embracing, all-encompassing body that just absorbs your presence, that is just there. Always there. It is soothing, tranquil, and yet awe-inspiring in its fury. And when I’m right beside the sea, all my worries over the trivialities of life, like grades, tests, homework, squabbles and whatnots, they are just dwarfed into insignificance.

I like the feel of water. I like being in the rain, getting drenched (except that my mom won't like the fact that my clothes are wet). I like swimming. I like sailing! And I certainly hope next week's weather won't be as constipated as this, so that I can actually sail. Sky, be kind!

Now I take my evening walk and feel the coolness of the night.

Career profiling

2006-04-03T21:00:00.000+08:00

Your Interests Profile is:
1.Enterprising
People with these interests enjoy activities which allow them to persuade, organise or influence others.
Their motto could be: "Most people value sensible advice and firm leadership!"
Their work could be in management, business, legal services, sales, public relations and marketing.

2.Creative
People with these interests enjoy the world of art, music or literature.
Their motto could be: "We all need far more colours and interests in our lives!."
Their work could be in art and design, advertising, entertainment, journalism, photography and hairstyling.

3.Investigative
People with these interests enjoy puzzling out why things occur or how things work.
Their motto could be: "Now, let's think this through before rushing into action!"
Their work could be in scientific or medical related jobs.

----
No occupations matched!
----

Your Top 5 Abilities are :
Artistic
Sales
Interpersonal
Creative
Language Usage

occupations that match well with your abilities:
Artist, Commercial
Artiste
Author
Buyer, Fashion
Copywriter, Advertising
Curator
Designer, Fashion
Designer, Interior
Designer, Jewellery
Designer, Product
Developer, Internet
Engineer, Geotechnical
Executive, Health Promotion
Manager, Gallery / Museum
Merchaniser
Photographer
Playwright
Producer, TV
Producer-presenter
Stylist, Fashion
Visual Merchandiser/Artist, Display

class picnic yesterday!

2006-04-03T20:50:00.000+08:00

There was a class picnic yesterday! And happily, a substantial number of people turned up, even though the class outing yesterday was quite brief. Geordie and I bought an Irish Whiskey Temptation cake from CakeAvenue near my house, to celebrate the birthdays of the April babies of SixOh -- Billy, Che Hao, Jin Quan and Charm, but the irony was that Che Hao didn't even turn up for the picnic, so too bad for him that he didn't get to eat his delicious birthday cake. The cake was quite interesting, it was a choc sponge cake with dark and white choc, hazelnuts, espresso and Irish Whiskey. Whee! But there was only TRACE amounts of whiskey, no kick.

We played Frisbee as well, and it was really fun! Frisbee has got to be the most fun mass sport! (as in, sports which involve over ten people in a game)

Towards the end of the picnic, the frisbee dropped into the pond at Symphony Lake. And Billy came to the rescue (as usual) gallantly! Really says something about him, doesn't it? Gamely getting dirty and rescuing a frisbee right after celebrating your birthday. Billy, you rock!

On a sidenote, my aunt gave me a whole bagful of collared longsleeved shirts! So now I have 8 such shirts to choose from to go sailing in, yay!

random thoughts

2006-03-30T19:16:00.000+08:00

1. Brinjals for lunch and dinner today! Whee! And milk and beancurd skin is delicious too. So is Strawberries + yoghurt.

2. I am serious about joining Sailing "Club" (LOL). And train for the competitions, with the aim of...at least not finishing last. :P Therefore I will consume more protein to gain muscles (not fats), and train ab muscles.

3. I kinda wish I were a guy. More freedom, less constraints: physical, inherent, and imposed by societal norms and expectations.

i'm staying in Singapore.

2006-03-28T20:31:00.000+08:00

I didn't get in. I only found out late this afternoon when my friend messaged me saying that 3 of her friends got called up by UWC Committee last night, telling them that they got selected to go to the UWCs in Canada, Italy and Norway. Not sure who got selected for the last place in USA, but one thing I'm certain of is: I didn't get in.

That's that. Seriously I don't know whether to be sad that my dream for the past 2 years of studying in a UWC wasn't realised, or to be happy that I'm staying in Hwa Chong, in SixOh, this class that I love so much, and able to spend time with friends who really rock, and my family.

But one thing I want to say is... (STOP! Qintan is going to say a vulgarity, shock shock, for those who don't want to see it, please stop reading or scroll over the next line.)

Damn!

How can I not feel disappointed when I've successfully gotten through three rounds in the selection criteria, and had a 40% (4 places out of 10 applicants who went for the 3rd round of interview) chance of being selected...

Boohoohoo, now I can't go on backpacking trips overseas as and when I like without parental consent. Now I don't have an excuse for my parents to buy me a NEW LAPTOP or get me a CREDIT CARD anymore. Sadness. :(

And one MAJOR drawback of not getting selected for UWC, is that, I can't just FLUNK my block tests in style and know it doesn't matter anyway cos I'm scooting off overseas.
Or skip school and lessons as and when I like cos I technically don't need to attend school in Singapore after July anymore. DARN.

OH. And Jin Quan and all other people who said I'd "sure get in one", owe me a lunch treat. For losing the bet. HEHE. :P

first chinese lesson

2006-03-27T19:58:00.000+08:00

Today was such a long day in school! Spent most of the time during lessons either talking or feeling extremely sleepy. And I attended my first H1 Chinese lesson from 4 to 5.30pm. (err I kinda ponned the first Chinese lesson last week). Surprisingly, and contrary to popular belief, it was interesting! In fact it was the most interesting lesson of the entire day, beating even PW lesson where we just fooled around.

I got the shock of my life when I entered the classroom (10 min late, was hanging around after PW class till 4.05 then got lost--YES, got lost in SCHOOL!--trying to find my way to the classroom). The entire Chinese class consisted only of Xie Lao Shi, Wuf, and me!!! (Whoa! A TWO-STUDENT CLASS! How cool is that? --> VERY.) We only had to finish some cheng2 yu3 and yan4 yu3 exercises (in a very short time), and the rest of the time was spent crapping with Xie Lao Shi, and her telling us about her interesting ex-students and introducing good books, elaborating about their contents. And talking about (and doing some analysis of) Hong2 Lou2 Meng4 (Dream of the Red Chamber, my favourite Chinese classic).

So cool! I'm really inspired to read Chinese books now, not that I wasn't interested in reading Chinese books before. (I've actually read the Chinese translation of "War and Peace" by Leo Tolstoy -- the illustrated and I daresay slightly abridged version. Hehe.) Actually I've been meaning to do so for a long long time already, just that I haven't found time to finish even half of the whole load of undone and due tutorials, much less read. And I'd rather read books than do tutorials. I think I shall just find time to read when I'm on the bus home, just that I frequently find myself meeting people on the bus and ending up talking with them the entire journey home. Or I'm just daydreaming and staring out of the window, too lazy to read.

Books, books, here I come! You just have to patiently wait a little while longer. Haha. Which is like, a few weeks more?

Hwa Chong swimming pool, here I jump! (ERR. LOL.) Wait a little little while more for me. I'll jump eagerly into your cooling, refreshing, rejuvenating and invigorating (and I was about to say "sensual". HAHAHA!) embrace tomorrow morning! I'll be the first to jump in! I'm going to spread my enthusiasm for you among my classmates!

sailing!

2006-03-25T20:58:00.000+08:00

Today was a fun fun day spent sailing with Zi Chong, Geordie and Eden! We went to SAFYC at East Coast, slacked around, had lunch then went out to sea in Laser Picos (Eden and I sailed one, Zi Chong and Geordie sailed the other). The weather today was really quite pleasant! It was not too sunny, then it drizzled a while before lapsing to cloudy weather. But it was cold with the wind blowing when I got out of sea with wet clothes.

For the first leg of the journey, I was crew. It was supremely pleasant lying comfortably in the cockpit (is that what it's called?), manning only the jib sail, and occasionally hiking out for fun. It was much harder helming the boat on the return leg of the journey. I capsized both of us TWICE while Eden didn't capsize us once (though we NEARLY capsized one time)! After all, I've not sailed a boat since P5 (and that was the Optimist boat), and the other time I sailed in a Pico, I was crew and didn't really do anything. There's an additional pressure when helming the boat, as you're responsible for the direction, the speed, the mainsail and the tilt of the boat etc etc. Not exactly very relaxing, but that's where the kick comes in. :D

All in all, I fell into the sea THREE times. Which is not that bad, though I suspect of all those who sailed with us, I fell into the sea the most number of times. The first time, I was crew, Eden was jibing and somehow I just fell into the sea. I think the boat was tilting but I forgot how I dropped in. The second time, I was helming the boat and the wind was quite strong and I was hiking almost fully out. But alas, without Eden's weight adding to the hike, the wind blew the boat over and I just slid vertically into the sea. Quite amusing, thinking back. The third time, we were both hiking out so it was quite alright, but the tiller slipped right out of my hand (the extension was jammed under a rope) and the boat just flipped over. And I ended trapped under the main sail, which was quite funny too. Actually capsizing is not that bad, though seawater tastes totally horrid and hurts your eyes. But now I finally understand the importance of lifejackets, since wet clothes really weigh a ton, and it's not that easy to climb back into the boat.

Towards the end of the journey as we headed back towards shore, Zi Chong helmed my boat and Eden helmed the Geordie's boat. Then we had an amusing 'war' where we threw a coconut found at sea into each other's boat. Unfortunately for the other two, Zi Chong the Pro Sailor was very fast so we zoomed off after throwing the coconut at them. They only got to throw the coconut back after when we were almost at shore. I got hit by the coconut so now my lip's cut and swollen, though it doesn't really hurt. I have to think of excuses to tell Mom when she returns, how my lip got into this state. I hope my face's not darker too, so she won't suspect anything.

Now I'm tired, but happy! Sailing and skiing are my favourite sports! And I think it's more fun to sail 2 ppl in a boat than to sail alone, but I'm keen to learn to sail a Byte (though the bottom weight limit's 50 kg).

Lessons of the day:
1. Being 44kg puts you at a SEVERE disadvantage when sailing (unless you sail an Optimist which is meant for kids.) though the lightness's very good for your partner if you're crew.
2. Wearing a cap is good because it provides protection against the Sun, the rain, and the boom. (oh, and: Beware of the Boom) OUCH.
3. A significant amount of plastic bottles found drifting at sea belong to capsized sailors.
4. Steer clear away from people with coconuts in their hands. :P
5. You can get as black as Zi Chong even with SPF 50 sunblock. My SPF 60 sunblock owns! So either wear a LOT (longsleeved shirt and long pants like me) or little (at least you tan evenly).
6. Never sail at Sembawang if you are prone to capsizing.
7. I LOVE sailing! But never sail alone. You never know what might happen.

the macroscopic view of things

2006-03-24T21:15:00.000+08:00

This evening, as I walked home from Hillview Heights to Dairy Farm after swimming (and trying to suntan unsuccessfully), I realised that all too often, when we walk around all the time, we're either looking at the ground, slightly ahead, the traffic lights, the cars, signposts etc.

But when was the last time we actually looked and gazed at the sky for longer than a few seconds? When was the last time we actually observed the trees, the birds flying amongst the clouds, the occasionally falling leaves, the dried leaves among the grass, the fallen flowers, the occasional butterflies flitting from bush to bush and different shapes of the trees?

As I looked at the sky this evening, it was so blue, such a lovely tinge of blue, and the clouds were not the regular fluffy ones, but rather, white streaks splashed across the sky, like splashes of white paint melting and merging into a watery blue gradient. So beautiful! Just like how the sky this morning was tinged such a lovely rosy, lavender colour, and the clouds either amber, vermillion or purple.

And as I gazed at the sky (yes, several cars honked at me when I was crossing the road), I felt a great sense of distance, that the longer I stared at the sky, the further it was extending, higher and higher and higher up, up into the reaches of the universe that we're in. Up into that mysterious black space. And I felt infinitely small, just a tiny little part of this amazing creation and clockwork. And for some reason, I just felt so tranquil, to be part of Nature, to merge with Nature.

We are all part of Nature, belonging to the cycle of Life that never ceases. But all too often we humans get so caught up in our own microscopic world and concerns that we forget our origin -- Nature. We forget that all the worries / troubles / concerns / hectic details of daily life, are but a tiny molecule of water in the great ocean that's life, that's Earth, that's Nature.

Skepticism (ok, leftover discussion from KI) or not? It doesn't matter. Why do you need absolute truth or genuine knowledge? It's sufficient to know that you're a product of Nature, a small link in the cycle of Life, from the species Homo Sapiens that's part of the Apes family, that's part of the fauna on Earth, which is in turn a planet orbiting around the Sun in a solar system, in a galaxy called the Milky Way which is just another one of the zillions of galaxies that exist in the Universe.

But it doesn't matter how big / small / significant / insignificant you are. What matters is that you're given this chance to explore the wonderful big world you're born into, and to enjoy your journey in exploring -- enjoying your life by living it out to how you want it to be.

some thoughts / hypotheses

2006-03-22T19:30:00.000+08:00

I have several theories / postulations!

1. people who have a happy childhood and feel loved when / since young, tend to be happier, less cynical and have an optimistic view of the world / life.

2. the happier people feel when they're with friends, the more afraid of solitude / loneliness they are.

3. girls tend to feel more at ease with (and maybe a greater need for?) physical contact, at least for the same gender.

4. girls tend to be more emotionally dependent than guys. Wait, this point is quite contentious. Or does it depend on personalities rather than gender?

5. girls tend to be better at expressing their feelings / emotions than guys, be it through speech, language, or behaviour. AND I'm not talking about expressing angst / anger / frustrations through the use of F words / pointing certain fingers, thank you very much :P (I know guys can do these very well)

So, what do you think of these points? Comments, please :)

milkshakes + GEP

2006-03-21T10:57:00.000+08:00

This morning I just made and drank:
2 big mugs of papaya milkshake
1 big mug of black+red+green grapes + natural yoghurt-shake!
half a mug of soya milkshake

YUMMY!

Feeling so full now. I'm going to walk all the way to KAP from my house (Upp Bkt Timah) to meet up for class pool outing later. I'd rather rollerblade all the way there but lugging a pair of heavy rollerblades around in a foodcentre / in school is not exactly very fun or sightly.

I am a good cook. If only people could believe me. :P

I just suddenly thought of a comment Jin Quan made when we were discussing, over the BBQ at class chalet, on who could probably fit into a neighbourhood school. He said I could, because "some people can act stupid". Then yesterday Gaby just said, when she found out I was a GEPper, "I always thought you were a GEPper! Cos you're smart!" Hmm. So here's a question to everyone: When you first got to know me, do I seem 'stupid, no-brainer' or 'smart'?

Haha. I realise that nowadays my mannerisms and conversations are less 'intellectual' and much more punctuated with Singlish than back when I was in Nanyang. Perhaps it's because I'm now in an environment where it's mostly mainstreamers mixed with some GEPpers, and I can 'connect' more with mainstreamers if I don't engage in conversation that puts some of them off. It's not necessarily bad. In life you have to learn to get along with people from diverse backgrounds and with different interests and personalities, I suppose.

Which also brings me to a question, is there really any difference between the behaviours and mannerisms of GEPpers and mainstreamers? Why the differences, if any? Why is the divide so much bigger than say, IP vs non-IP?

School reopens!

2006-03-20T18:42:00.000+08:00

YAYness!!! School re-opened again today! Haha this is so interesting, I actually like schooldays much more than holidays! I'm back to my happy happy self again today, how can I not be, when I can see and be with all my friends and SixOh again! Even the morning sky today that greeted me as I walked into the school compound was so bright sunny and cheery!

Mrs Tam mentioned in class today that there's going to be a Parent-Teachers-Meeting soon...oh no! I think my mom is going to kill me and ground me at home when the teachers feedback that "Qintan is much more interested in and occupied with talking with her friends than the lesson and what I am TRYING to teach", and that "she has been neglecting her sad, abandoned Math/Phy/Chem/Bio tutorials".

And there's class outing to play Pool tomorrow! So fun! Though I will probably end up shooting the white ball into the holes all the time, or maybe even shooting balls off the table...As for Hwa Chong Idol, my mom said I'd better come out of my 3-months-plus dormancy as Student Correspondent and write an article on it for Lianhe Zao Bao (Popcorn section). And earn money by the way.

I'm so out of touch with Chinese. And speaking of Chinese, I realise I'd just skipped Chinese lessons this afternoon. Because I didn't know there were Chinese lessons today. And I've conveniently forgotten to hand in my Bio essay assignment. >.< How forgetful can I get.

mixed feelings again

2006-03-18T14:39:00.000+08:00

I got selected for the third round of interview tomorrow! It's so scarily near to that final stage, that final decision which I may eventually have to make. And I'm really just so confused now, I don't know what I want anymore. Or do I? Just that I can't seem to let go of all that I have now, or even THINK about having to let go. One thing is for sure: I love my life in Singapore, I love my family and home, I love being with a certain group of friends -I don't need to say who-, I love SixOh, I love Hwa Chong. And I really just can't bear the thought of letting go of all these! And having all those people I'm close to, drift away. Not being able to spend time with them anymore. No more familiar voices, no more familiar faces, funny word expressions even. Would they still keep in contact often? Or just forget me? Those lunches and breaks together with the class. The crazy times together, the skipping CSP lessons together (ok, so sad, no more CSP periods for us to skip together). Argh!

If I go, half my heart will be torn and remain here. I'll have to start anew again, and have the courage to stick with my decision, that strength to bear the loneliness and solitude, and facing difficulties and possible bouts of depression alone.

If I don't go, there'll be this big "What If" nagging at me constantly, though I'll still enjoy my life here in Singapore.

The dilemma! It's killing me. Guess I'll just leave everything up to Fate. Maybe I don't even have to make that painful decision. Not being selected is much less painful than being selected and having to make a choice. Maybe having free will and being able to make a choice isn't that good after all.

Do long-distance friendships work? I hope they do. Is there such a thing as "friends for life"? I hope so. I hope I don't get disillusioned and disappointed yet again.

Too early to be thinking of that... I have a strangely empty feeling in my chest now. I think I feel too much and am too emotional(ly dependent) for my own good.

Sixoh class chalet!

2006-03-17T22:12:00.000+08:00

I'm just back from swimming straight after reaching home from the class chalet this evening! It's a remarkable feat that I managed to sleep throughout 95% of the two-hour bus journey back! But maybe it's natural considering that I broke my sleeping-time record, setting an alltime low of ONE HOUR during the chalet!!!

Yesterday we met up for "class" lunch (consisting of sadly only Jon and me), before we went shopping at NTUC for food with Zi Chong, Jin Quan and Geordie. What a surprise that the guys knew how to shop better (or rather, more efficiently) than me! It was extremely amusing watching them choose the sweet potatoes. Jin Quan scrutinises and weighs the sweet potatoes critically, commenting that the sweet potatoes that are not-so-thick and not-so-skinny should be chosen because they cook the best, while Zi Chong goes, "Heck la, just choose the biggest!" While Jonathan and I (the amateurs) stare on in amusement and dazedness. In the end the bill amounted to over 80 bucks, and it turned out that there were leftover food. (but we'd planned food for more people than half the number who turned up)

After checking into the chalet--Halton Bungalow D, (at which point the people present were only: Zi Chong, Jin Quan, Geordie, Jonathan, Bryan, Siobhan and me), Jonathan and I went to scrutinise the bedrooms (and me to jump on each and every one of the beds--a weird habit of mine), while the conscientious others went to sort out the kitchen utensils and prepare the sweet potatoes and corns for barbeque. It was really interesting watching how pro Jin Quan and Zi Chong washed the stuff and cut it up, and funny watching Geordie chop the stalks off the corns. Argh, I'm put to shame!

And we finally got to try Dance Dance Revolution (after having to lug a DDR mat and Playstation all the way to the chalet)! I'm glad to say I introduced some people to DDR and got some people (relatively) hooked onto it too! And I managed to pass Paranoia-Rebirth-190 FOR ONCE because Geordie was using the controller which saved me.

And played Scrabble. It's funny how the weirdest letter-combinations (like, "cwm" if I remember correctly) can actually be considered words, and how both Jin Quan and Zi Chong mug the Scrabble-List-of-Words to win Scrabble.

In the evening, we started preparing for the barbeque! Thanks to the PROs: Zi Chong-the-Blow-Fire-Person, Jin Quan-the-Arrange-Charcoal-Person, and Geordie-the-Fan-Fire-Person, and not forgetting Siobhan-the-Aunty, we managed to get the fire started in less than one hour (around 30 minutes)!!! The three-hour-experience of barbequeing foods that I'd otherwise not normally eat, and chatting random stuff, was strangely satisfying, despite the heat from the grill.

Charmaine joined us for the barbeque, and as night drew, Siobhan, Charmaine and I decided to go for a walk by the beach, bloated and in need of exercise as we were. The walk was really nice! To feel the wind blowing in your face, in your hair, to see, smell and hear the sea, to look at the full moon and the dim stars in the cloudy night sky, to sit on the railings facing the sea talking about issues close to your heart with your friends...The experience is really good.

After a while, we went back. And we went for a second beach walk, this time with Zi Chong, Jin Quan, Geordie, Jonathan, and Bryan (and later, Billy, Chris, Sam and Wai Hong joined us as well). It's really wonderful walking and talking with friends you feel comfortable with at night. Somehow the experience is just different from daytime. The night soothes you, it releases your mind from the hectic pace, distractions and frustrations of the daytime. And the sea, and the breeze, they overwhelm you with a sense of tranquility and open-ness. We strolled along the Changi Board Walk, and stopped by Changi Sailing Club to look at the sailboats there, while the pro sailor Zi Chong explained all about them to Jin Quan, Geordie and I.

Looking at all the sailboats and sitting in them (illegally) just makes me relive the passion for sailing from years ago. I still remember the exhilaration, the wind in your hair, the sea spray, the lapping of waves against the boat, the feeling of the wind in the rope, and the remarkable sense of speed that you feel as you skim over the waves. I really want to go sailing again.

We were sitting around in a keelboat (illegally) until the rather-retarded security guard chased us away. And then we continued on the Boardwalk. Somehow, perhaps because of the dim lighting, the trees, the proximity to old Changi Hospital, the lateness of the night, and the weird interplay of shadows cast by the lamp-posts, buildings and trees, people scaring each other. Or rather, evil Chris, Sam and Zi Chong tried to scare me and Siobhan, and I'm ashamed to say, rather successfully, though each attempt made us slightly more immune to the next. And Zi Chong made the Ultimate Unsuccessful attempt to scare the bunch of people behind while Sam and I tried to divert their attention away from his hiding place by staring at some guy fishing in a folding chair by the beach.

Finally, as it approached 11plus pm, we headed back to the chalet and continued playing DDR till midnight. Then I learnt how to play Mahjong for once! though I still do not find why people can get addicted to Mahjong.

After several rounds of Mahjong, we (the Noisy Table: Chris, Sam, Wai Hong, Zi Chong, Geordie and I) started playing Blackjack. The Quiet Table (consisting of Jin Quan, Jonathan, Bryan and Siobhan) joined us after a few hours. That was the most hilarious, interesting and rowdy cardgame I've ever played! I think the number of F words I heard that night (80% of it originating from Chris) is more than or equal to the number of F words I've ever heard before!!! Also, I observed, much to my amusement, that the guys like to exclaim that they're "being raped" a lot, whenever they lose money! And very obviously, I do not know how to hide /control my expressions/what comes out of my mouth whenever the sum of the cards I took exceed 21, and bankers take advantage of that fact, which is why I end up losing most of the times whenever I take more than 3 cards. Some other observations:
1. I seem to bring luck to the banker, and cause the players to lose whenever I "cut" the cards. Which explains why whenever I try to cut the cards so many hands block me from touching the cards.
2. My presence seems to bring Zi Chong bad luck. E.g. when I went upstairs to use the toilet he scored a Blackjack!

That can be said as the most interesting night I've ever had (most of my other nights are spent sleeping). I only went to bed at 4 plus, and woke up at 5 plus, (woken by the shrieks and laughter of the people still playing Mahjong downstairs, namely Wai Hong)

The next day, most of us were rather dazed and like zombies. Billy, Jonathan, Siobhan and I took a morning walk around 7plus to Seven-Eleven some distance away, to buy breakfast (4 cartons of milk and 16 roti pratas!) before we headed back to wake the rest. (I tried unsuccessfully to wake most of them up using the "enticing" smell of prata) After breakfast, we slacked around, played DDR, and watched cartoons before we finally checked out at 10 plus (Miao Qin joined us at 9plus). Thereafter, we walked to Changi Village area to rent bikes and cycled for an hour till 12 plus. It was breezy and scenic cycling along Changi Beach, but it was a pity I had to cycle rather slowly and for such a short time, before we headed back to return the bikes.

After taking the bus back to Tampines Interchange, we had lunch at Tampines Mall and met up with Rachel. I bought a plate of Tempeh (fermented soybeans) and we played Truth (only for Billy's case. HEHE) or Dare (dare the people to eat the Tempeh I'd bought) so Miao Qin, Siobhan, Jonathan and Geordie now know what Tempeh tastes like (hehe!). I am puzzled as to why I'm the only one who finds Tempeh appetising.

Then Siobhan, Jonathan, Billy and I headed home while the rest went to find a place to play pool. The end of class chalet!

Even though I was disappointed at the low turnup numbers from our class, I still enjoyed the chalet greatly. Yes, "the more the merrier", but having a smaller number of people doesn't mean that things will turn out badly. It really depends on the enthusiasm and the people there, not the absolute NUMBER of people (though obviously it'll be much more like a class chalet and more interesting if more people turned up). At least I got to experience things I've never experienced before, understood some slightly better, got to interact more with some, and overall, had a great time instead of slacking and stoning and being overwhelmed by boredom and loneliness at home.

Argh! So much for my plans of being a piggy (though I fulfilled the Eating part of the criteria) and sleeping early tonight! :( But at least I shall sleep with sweet dreams (though it's actually better to your body to have dreamless REM--i think--sleep, I love dreaming! Nice dreams, obviously.)

All the people who turned up for the chalet, you guys rock!!! THANKS for coming! You just made my two days and 1 night a fabulous time!!! Hope you all had a great time too! :)

loneliness and melancholy.

2006-03-15T14:08:00.000+08:00

Yesterday I went over to Jin Quan's house to play tabletennis, cards and tennis with him, Zi Chong and several of their friends. I enjoyed my time there, especially the later part when we were just slacking, sitting and talking at the tennis courts. Sometimes I just envy the camaraderie that the CHS geppers have, the time they spent playing sports everyday together.

I look back and I realise that I've never really truly belonged to any clique. I don't belong to any clique now, still, do I? What does it feel like to be part of a clique, to be always hanging out together, doing the same things (be they stupid or meaningful) together, feeling you're part of everyone else, that you're needed, that you belong?

And why is it that I get along well with most but never get close enough to people, even if just a few that I care more about? Close enough for me to matter to them, not as just another classmate, another acquaintance or another one of their many many friends, but as myself, their friend? Is this the result of my own doing, however unintentional it may be?

I fear loneliness. Is this called weakness? Is this insecurity? If it is, I don't care to hide my weaknesses anymore, at least not now, at least not here, this blog which not many people visit anyway. I hate pity. I hate people pitying me, or doing things for me they wouldn't otherwise do, like keeping me company, out of pity for me, not because they like my company. I don't want to be pitied. Yes, I'm proud, and I hate pity.
(obviously there's a difference between pity for superficial things like pain or exhaustion, and pity for other things like loneliness, insecurity etc. I hate the latter pity. And there's a big difference between empathy and concern, and pity. Sometimes people just mix them all up.)
That's why I always try not to show my weaknesses, that's why I always put on a brave front even when I'm feeling weak inside. That's why few people see me cry, though many a times I just feel like letting go of my emotions.

And they don't need to see another sad or morose face. Why sould they? They've seen enough. There's plenty of sadness in the world already. What the world lacks and needs is happiness.

But I've reached a limit where I can't just keep all my thoughts to myself. I hate the times when I turn off my handphone for several days and turn it on knowing that there're not going to be any new messages that's not regarding something like homework, or activities I organised, or worse still, no new messages at all. I hate harbouring the thought that if I didn't turn up in school for a day, a week or even a month no one would miss me at all. (truthfully, would you even feel any difference? Would you even know that I'm not in school? ) I hate the feeling I get sometimes, that if I disappeared from people's life, say if I left for overseas, if I was gone just somehow, nobody would know, nobody would really care, besides my family.

There's a reason why I decided not to use MSN again. I couldn't stand it anymore. I hated it when conversations died out after a while, when talk was just forced talk to keep the appearance of being busy on MSN. I hated it when nobody would talk to you if you didn't initiate conversations yourself. Typing for the sake of typing, talking for the sake of talking, using MSN for the sake of keeping up the illusion that people want to talk to you, that your friends want to talk to you, that you're needed. Why maintain that illusion and continue deceiving yourself? Might as well live with the truth, however bare it may be. That people talk to you on MSN only because they're bored. Not because they really want to talk to you, or that a conversation with you matters to them.

I'm not being my usual self. Or maybe this's just another side of me. The emotionally-dependent, melancholy and not-so-cheerful side of me. The side of me that I don't show and nobody bothers to find out. Precisely, why would they want to.

Am I being hypocritical by drowning in self-pity? I've been over-indulged in love and concern by my parents when I was young. Now that they pay much less attention to me, and I'm still as needy emotionally, maybe slightly less, I have to fill in that gap myself, albeit in vain.

my poem for SixOh

2006-03-14T10:47:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, I went over to the HC Boarding School and met up with Papa Billy, Yang Sai, and Jonny. We were enjoying the aircon in the gym for a while before some Officers spotted Jonny and I (the non-boarders) and we all scrambled into Billy's room. We played cards for 2 hours straight! (Taiti) and talked random stuff. I actually managed to win the most number of rounds, whee!

I felt so weird and displaced yesterday, this overwhelming sense of loneliness, and somehow, it just didn't feel right. Till I met up with them again. I really miss school, I miss hanging around SixOh. Being with you guys makes me feel happy and contented, even if it's just playing cards and talking. Sure beats rotting away at home pining for Thursday to come.

Yesterday, while feeling bored, I composed a poem dedicated to SixOh and wrote it in the class diary. Here goes:

To SixOh
I wandered lonely as a daffodil
floating in the air.
Over the sunny meadows
and over the wide green fields.
But I always wandered
never to find a landing place.

I wandered lonely as a little cloud
drifting in the sky.
Over the acres of land so wide
and over the seas so blue.
But I always wandered
never to find an anchor.

Now I wander, lonely no more,
a happy bird in a flock--that's Sixoh!
We are all soaring together,
heart and wings beating as one.
I don't have to wander, anymore,
for I've found a place, where I belong.

A place, where we belong.

---

ahahaha. I wrote this in fifteen minutes! Now that I look back at it, maybe it's a little childish and cliche :(

Huang cheng and the start of the sch hols

2006-03-13T10:25:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was the Huang Cheng performance. We went as a class for lunch at Lau Pa Sat before going to Victoria Theatre together. Personally I had very high expectations of Huang Cheng, after hearing about how great it is from the previous batches. So I guess that was perhaps why I didn't really find it as good as I thought it would be. It consisted of 3 plays. The first play was rather touching, and the acting was quite good, but perhaps if it was less disjointed and the flow was smoother, it'll be much nicer. The second play was the most understandable and most smoothly connected among the 3 plays. I think it's quite touching too, but I didn't really empathise too much with the characters, perhaps because my family background is so different from that and I never really met anyone with such experiences, so I can't connect that much with the characters. The third play, to put in one word, was: cheem. In other words, rather hard to understand. But what I can get, is that it's about company politics, and whether winning or losing in the competitive job/ company market, is really all that matters.

Maybe Huang Cheng should do a show that connects more with teenage students and school life, given that the majority of the audience are students of the ages 16-19, instead of venturing into plays dealing with themes / scenarios that most students (both actors and audience alike) have never experienced before. It would be more realistic and truthful to act, and the audience would appreciate it more.

On a sidenote, I wore a new pair of heeled slippers that I just bought a week ago, and it caused 4 great blisters on my feet! In the end it was simply hellish to continue walking in them, so I figured I might as well take off the slippers and walk barefeet. It's simply much more comfortable walking on the road barefeet than wearing those slippers. And I really have to thank Chris and Zi Chong as well for the cab treat home! Otherwise I might have gotten home with ten more blisters.

***

The school holidays have started and it feels so surreal to be at home alone (my sister's gone to school for some class thing) instead of being around so many people. I'm really unaccustomed to the quiet, the boredom, and the loneliness. And quite a number of people seem to be occupied during most of the March holidays, so I guess I can't really get more people to meet up to play sports during the holidays. If anyone's playing sports / doing something during the hols, I'll be really glad to come along! :)

To SixOh

2006-03-10T21:04:00.000+08:00

The past few days have certainly seen much displacement. Wednesday was the day that saw Billy and Rachel being forcibly torn from the class, and Da Chuan's sacrificial leaving of the class. It was the day that saw Cheryl and Zhao Rui transferred to other classes, and 5 more newcomers entering: Gaby, Sara, Xin Xue, Colin and Ronald (who's left the class today).

Yet more was to come.

Thursday was the day when the tension in the class escalated during Physics practical, when the topic of class posts were brought up. Or maybe the undercurrents of tension were there all along, just that some of us did not notice it / underestimated it, or preferred not to bring it to light. Now that we've brought up the matter to light, we should work towards a solution, as a class, together. It's something that the class has to solve as a whole, not something that several people have to solve among themselves.

And from this, we can just realise how important communication in a class is. If we had been more open in our relationships and perhaps tried to discuss what we did not find acceptable about the other person openly or more openly, and both parties had communicated to each other instead of bottling up negative emotions, perhaps relationships might have been much better.

So what we can do now is just try to be more open with each other, forgive and forget the past ie bury the hatchet to start anew as much as possible, try and help each other to overcome our flaws by pointing them out to us and giving constructive feedback, and accepting, not denying, but working on the flaws that we have, that others have pointed out to us.

I believe everything can work out. There are always ups and downs, and there cannot exist such a perfect class that there are no conflicts at all.

Conflicts either break us, or make us stronger and more united. Let's hope that through this, we can be inspired to try to understand each other better, and work together to raise the class to new heights! :)

I love SixOh! We'll rock on together!

P.S. I finally booked the chalet-- Aloha Changi bungalow! YAY!
P.P.S. I had spinach flan again today! Whee! Cheese + spinach tastes really good!
P.P.P.S. I HATE FLU + COUGH!!!

msn?

2006-03-06T08:15:00.000+08:00

I've abstained from MSN for 2 years already...The dilemma is, should I start using MSN again? I received yet another email from MSN asking me to sign up for a MSN Passport cos someone added me. But talking on MSN...If there're many people talking to me, I'll end up spending so much time on it = less time to sleep. on the other hand, if there's very few people talking to me...then what's the point? Maybe I'll abstain from using MSN until the need arises for it.

On a sidenote, I'm quite ill. I've been having an evil cough for more than a week, still not recovering, and started having flu yesterday. I hope I don't have to miss swimming because of it. Perspiring heavily this morning. I better go see the doctor after school ends today... I don't like falling ill :(

Marche STJ on Sat night

2006-03-05T20:45:00.000+08:00

Saturday night, after the LeaP module, was the long-awaited STJ night at Suntec Marche!

me squeezing successfully into a kiddy train outside Marche!

class girls! taking photos while waiting.

Pau-pau, Yang Sai and I shared a table with seniors Zi Yang and Hai Ning, had a nice dinner, and then Melvyn, Pin Xuan, Yu Zhong and Siobhan joined us.

US! After a FULL dinner!

And then we noticed a 'No Smooching!' sign near our table...

The Giant (right, Yu Zhong) kissing the Dwarf (Hai Ning, on left)

Yang Sai and Pauline finally blatantly expressing their not-so-straight love in the open. The IRONY--doing this right after a Sex Ed workshop on Abstinence. Hehe.

There was talk of going to the Esplanade rooftop and hanging out, enjoying the night. But alas, it became but a burst bubble when we realised that it was already 10.40pm by the time we got out of Marche...and some of us, like me, had curfew... So we left, sadly.

All of us, senior and junior batches of S60!!! :)

I'm thankful for a great class and wonderful seniors! Six-Oh rocks!

Thursday: fun halfday and class's birthday treat

2006-03-03T17:42:00.000+08:00

Thursday, 2nd March. A wonderful day...

The beautiful early morning sky on my way to Hwa Chong.

Our (dreaded) Physics lab lesson was less boring than usual. In fact, it was amusing and chaotic. However, Rachel's turtle and my bear Michelle underwent much tortue, due to several sadistic guys!

First Che Hao and Zi Chong hung Turtle by its head. Spot Che Hao's sadistic grin.

Then they hung it by its leg. Look at both of them grinning evilly.

And then my bear got squashed by bricks. By the same evil duo.

And my bear got ready to fly.

A flying bear -- "Super-Bear!!!". Spot the motion blur.

My bear levitating in the lab.

Sam and Bryan marvelling at the levitating bear.

Chaos in the lab.

The hardworking people: (from left) Qiu Rong, Zhao Rui and Siobhan.

And the not-so-hardworking ones.

Yang Sai and Pauline acting funny.

Yang Sai: Oops! Caught in the act! Subsequently she chases me around class trying to grab the camera.

Another 2 people acting funny -- Che Hao and Zi Chong. AND the Confession Note. In case you can't see, here's full contents of the note, which is with me:

Charm: I'm beginning to think that both of you have severe masochistic tendencies. :S
Siobhan: LOL Che Hao you are damn mean lah. And why are you so touchy feely with Zi Chong!
Che Hao: I'm Jake Glyeenal (can't decipher his handwriting la) and what's-his-name. (note: this is in allusion to the gay couple in Brokeback Mountain I think.)
Zi Chong: Okay okay...It's all out in the open now. We're just masochistic homosexuals. Don't tell anyone :P LOL. You gay lesbians. ;D

Hehe.

After school ended we went to Sakae Sushi at Heeren for a class lunch, and to celebrate my (belated) birthday. The class treated me to:

A wonderful hotplate of unagi + egg!

Lovely grilled Shitake mushrooms (if you didn't know I love mushrooms too). AND of course Fried Tofu, which I didn't take a picture of, unfortunately.

Over at the other table, the guys tricked Steve into eating a sushi stuffed full of wasabi inside.

Here's poor Steve choking after consuming the doctored sushi.

And the whole class, stomachs full and wallets empty after our lunch at Sakae.

Then some left, some went to watch a movie, and the rest of us went to Far East to shop for class ring.

It was a wonderful day.

Thank you so much, Six-Oh! I love you again and again and again!

My Happy Happy Birthday! Thanksgiving yet again!

2006-03-01T20:49:00.000+08:00

I'm like a bubble full of happiness. Today must be one of the most memorable birthdays (besides my 14th birthday party) so far. And once again, I have a whole lot of people to thank for making this day so wonderful!

To all of you who remembered my birthday and wished me a Happy Birthday, whether personally, by sms, or by tagging on my blog, thanks! I did have a very happy birthday indeed. :)

To Wei Heng, Li Hao and Yu Zhong, you amusing seniors who were so nice to sing a Birthday song (despite your obvious torture while singing), hehe, thanks, I really appreciated it!

To Ernest, Sara and Jun Wen, thanks for your lovely presents! I'm really touched by you people.

To Zi Chong, Jin Quan and Che Hao (and this guy I don't know his name) who played tennis with me, I had a wonderful fun morning because of you people!

To Charm, Siobhan, Zi Chong, Che Hao and Jez, thanks for the very amusing conversation over a nice lunch (+ my beloved papaya milkshake, around which the conversation revolved)!

To dear Charm to whom I talked throughout the entire Math lesson, thanks! This is the only Math lecture I found interesting so far (hehe, cos of YOU not the lecturer).

To Pau-Pau, Cheryl and Siobhan who accompanied me to RJC for the briefing, and to dear Pau-Pau for the most delightful conversation on the bus, thanks too! It's simply wonderful just being in your presence and talking with you! :)

There's just so many more people to thank! So here's a big thank you to everyone who's in my life! And a gigantic thank you to Six-Oh for making my life so wonderful!!! I LOVE YOU, SIX OH! I LOVE YOU, ALL MY DEAR FRIENDS! And here's a big hug to everyone out there!

**

I just came back from a lovely dinner at an Italian gourmet restaurant with my family, amounting to almost a hundred bucks for the four of us. Of all the sumptuous fare I ate, the spinach flan (spinach pie mixed with cream cheese and egg) was by far the most delicious!!! So much so that I actually ate TWO spinach flans! But I'm really full now. And contented.

On a sidenote, I'm quite undecided on whether to run for council. I was quite against the idea of running for council (as I'm afraid I won't have enough time for Chinese Dance) until my Mom persuaded me to run for council after listening to me talk about it. Maybe I will. But I'm quite apprehensive about the campaigning...

I'm looking forward to going to school tomorrow! Class lunch at Sakae! I LOVE SIX-OH! :)

And my wish: I hope that my happiness will spread like a contagious virus to everyone around me! I hope Six-Oh can stay together as a united class, and not be reshuffled by the school! I hope to stay happy and cheerful, and have much fun, friendship, and love (referring to my family la)!

Happiness! The Ten Simple Pleasures of Life. And Thanksgiving before my birthday

2006-02-28T18:16:00.000+08:00

I am happy! Feeling very happy nowadays. I'm happy just to come to school and be with dear Six-Oh!

The Ten Great Pleasures of Life
1. Being in the embrace of loved ones and friends.
2. Leaning back-to-back with loved ones and friends.
3. Watching the sun set / rise, sitting closely together with loved ones and friends.
4. Star-gazing or cloud-gazing, lying on the back, with loved ones and friends.
5. Strolling in the drizzle with loved ones and friends.
6. Playing sports with friends. Like playing tennis during every break with Zi Chong, Jin Quan, Geordie, Che Hao and gang.
7. Eating lunch / dinner with Six-Oh!
8. Kite-flying with friends. It brings out the child in me. Six-Oh, let's do that one day!
9. Ponning lessons together with my dear Six-Oh, whether to cloud-gaze and crash NJC, to play tennis, to eat a slow lunch together and whatnot. It really gives a new meaning to the idea of a class (not just people you attend lessons together with, but the people you get into trouble with.)
10. Knowing that you matter, however much, to someone. That you're needed, that you're very much a part of the class, that you're not...extra.

Being part of Six-Oh has enabled me to experience 6 of these Ten Great Pleasures of Life (No. 1, 4, 6, 7, 9, 10). That's the reason why I'm so happy.

Tomorrow will be the day I turn 17.

I look back and I find that my short three months so far at Hwa Chong has been the happiest school year, in the 16 years of my life.

This day I give thanks to Hwa Chong, to the class seniors, and to my Chinese Dance friends. For enriching my time here and making me feel so welcome and warm.

This day I give thanks to Six-Oh, and to all you great people in Six-Oh, for being the greatest class ever, for accepting me, for making my life in Hwa Chong such a happy one.

This day I give thanks to all my dearest friends (Xinying, Michy, etc) for caring for me.

This day I give thanks to my dearest family: Mom, Dad and Sis. For loving me for who I am.

I am the way I am because of all of you. My happiness consists of you.

I dedicate tomorrow, 1st March, my birthday, to all you wonderful people! May happiness be with all of you!

Soft Toy Day!!!

2006-02-27T15:26:00.000+08:00

Such a lovely morning today! I feel happy just going to school and seeing my dear classmates!

The early morning sky reflects my blissful contented state of mind.

It's...The Six-Oh SOFT TOY DAY!!!

Cute little soft toys of our Six-Oh girls.

While the others had their Econs lecture, 4 girls huddled around the class bench cuddling their soft toys.

Ooops, girls caught unaware. Before the "Cheese!" came.

a HAPPY! bunch of girls and our softtoys. Front: (left) Cheryl, Charmaine, Rachel. (back) me.

And then we had Chem lab, after which 4 girls went to the clean and nice toilet near the lab, and decided to take photos against the mirror at the spur of the moment.

(left) Miao Qin, Siobhan, Rachel and me.

Towards the end of the day, we had Math lesson!

Chris is actually listening in class! And Sam's either sleeping OR intently writing, though the former seems more possible. Spot Che Hao in the far left corner sleeping.

And my dear Michelle la Belle (my lovely plushy SOFT softtoy bear) came to Math lesson with us.

This was where Michelle la Belle spent the whole lesson -- sitting on my shoulder.

The human Michelle (left), bear Michelle, and me -- the Owner of Michelle! (hmm...which?)

The seniors, obviously aware that I was taking photos of them, and refusing to pose for the camera.

School life at Hwa Chong is really FUN! Well, it's as fun as we make it to be. The class is going Sakae Sushi this Thurs afternoon -- just one day after my birthday! During lunch break and You-Know-What period. And maybe we'll go shopping for a Six-Oh Class Ring so that we'd all be permanently engaged to Six Oh!

I love my life. I love Six-Oh. And Hwa Chong.

chi dance; shopping

2006-02-25T21:05:00.000+08:00

There was Chinese Dance practice as usual. And it was the first time I cried, in school, this year. Somehow I just couldn't remember the dance routines and forgot the steps, so the instructor-cum-grandsenior made me and Xinying do the steps again and again, and each time I got the steps wrong. It was so disappointing, to a perfectionist me, to not be able to remember the steps, much less execute them well; a disappointment to the instructor and seniors and everyone as well. It was so exasperating as well, because I really tried my best to remember but somehow I just got a mental block and my mind was blank. And worst of all, to think of poor Xinying doing the routine with me over and over again because I just couldn't remember; to think of wasting all the time of the other dancers just because of me and my stupid blank mind! I couldn't control my emotions; all the frustration and disappointment just flowed out, gushed out through the tears. But at last I got the routine right. To this I'm really grateful for the patient guidance of the seniors and the concern of all other dancers, especially Xinying.

But in no way am I less passionate about Chinese dance. I'll try, try my best. If it takes others 2 hours to remember the dance routine, I'll spend 4 hours to remember them. I just hope I can follow through with what I set out to do, and not just let this end at the stage of empty talk.

Life has its ups and downs. After a nice lunch with Xinying, I went shopping at Bugis with my mom and sis. My dear Mom bought me 100 bucks worth of Arena swimsuits as my birthday gift!!! The expensive one was the one-piece swimsuit, the other was a cheaper two-piece swimsuit. On top of that, I got a pair of nice pink one-inch heels, and a lilac U2 tank top. Shopping really makes me relaxed and contented.

Dad has announced that he'll bring our family to eat at this nice Italian restaurant on my birthday -- Wednesday night! That's really good news! Finally a family dinner, for once in a long time. Most of the times we just eat dinner ourselves (or at least, I eat with my sister most of the times) because of clashing schedules.

I am down with an evil cough that wakes me in the middle of the night, disrupting my nice dreams. And there's a UWC Selection Interview-cum-Camp tomorrow from 8.45 to 5pm! Means I have to wake up early, YET again, and not be able to do all the overdue tutorials and homework. Hope it'll be a fun day tomorrow, and that I can bid good riddance to Mr. Cough soon enough.

my dear class 60

2006-02-23T20:05:00.000+08:00

Today was a fun school day! Not because of lessons (it never is) but more because of the breaks. During Physics practical, Charm, Rachel and I had a discussion about...well, love. Instead of Blu-Tac, which we were supposed to be talking about. Ha ha! Over lunch, I had yet another interesting discussion with the other KI people in class about free will, Freudian concepts, and whether love is predetermined.

After lunch, I went to play tennis with Zi Chong, Jin Quan, Geordie and some of their friends. It was fun! (obviously) So much so that I actually *ahem* You-Know-What lecture again. After tennis I went to play squash with Geordie -- this was the first time I actually tried playing squash! But it was easy to pick up, and fun as well, though tiring at the same time.

This is what school life should be about! Playing sports, enjoying food, conversation, laughter, the energy of youth, and life, together with friends and classmates! School life shouldn't revolve around studies; it should revolve around friends. I wish my JC days would never end; I wish I could remain this age, a youth, a teenager, forever, to enjoy the carefree, happy days of playing sports during breaks with friends, eating, talking, joking, fooling around together.

And I wish our class could stay together and not undergo reshuffling. It would be simply unkind of the school if they were to move people out from the class considering that they firstly scored well enough in O Levels to remain in Hwa Chong, secondly did not change subject combination, and thirdly are happy to be in the class. What's the point, the joy, the fun of school life in Hwa Chong if the class is broken, split up, and people separated and transferred to various different classes just like that??? I really can't imagine it happening. I don't want to imagine it, much less see it happening. Maybe I'm worrying too much, but I just can't stand the idea of breaking up 60!!! It's not about whether the class is nice or not (though 60 definitely is), not about whether the new people are going to be nice or not, but it's about the people--WHO they are--who make up 60! 60 is not the name of the class, it's the combined existence of all the individuals in it!

And on another matter, it struck me today that 6c is much closer to the seniors than our class is. It's nothing bad, but I think it's quite an irony that though we're 60, the same 'class' as the seniors, we're not as close to them as we should be. We don't really interact much with them, much less with 6c. It seems almost as though we just keep to ourselves. I don't know what to say of it, it's just an observation I guess.

PE lesson...and my coming birthday party

2006-02-21T20:14:00.000+08:00

Had a 2.4km trial run during PE today. I got a personal best of 11:40! I'm quite happy. This year my running seems to have improved. :) But I don't really run anymore than last year; it's just 3 times a week (at most). I'll try to maintain the standard though. After running, Michelle and I, and some of the other guys played a fun game of basketball for a while.

I love PE, and sports! I think I truly live for the moment when I'm engaging in sports, unlike lectures, tutorials, and (dreaded) practicals, where I just keep looking at the clock / my watch and wondering when lunch / break / dismissal is. When I'm engaging in sports, I'm fully alive. When I'm stuck in lessons before lunch, my stomach comes alive with its incessant growling and impatient churning, and my head starts turning to look at my watch with increasing frequency.

Next week we're having swimming lessons. I hope I'll enjoy them, and I hope the lessons won't spoil my liking for swimming. I read in an article somewhere that swimming is the sport where the difference in standards between men and women is most narrowed. Hmmm... It's a pity that I finished the Lifesaving Course (Lifesaving 1, 2 and 3; not yet Bronze Medallion) a long time ago when I was in Primary 4. Now I've forgotten all that they taught. Who knows, if I'd not learnt it so long ago, I may just be able to save some lives, HA HA HA!

After school today, I went shopping for gifts. It's a nice sensation standing there, wondering what gift to choose for that person and imagining her smile or surprise when she sees the gift. Which was why I spent more than 2 hours de-stressing by choosing gifts and emptying my wallet of money at the same time.

Yu Zhong says STJ is this Saturday. But the other seniors (Mak, Felicia, Xiao Ying) say it's unconfirmed. If it's NEXt Saturday, it'll be on the same day as my birthday party (for my class and seniors too if they're free) I plan to organise. Which is quite good, as there'll be more people turning up for the party! We could go to my party first then head off for STJ later. But if it's THIS Saturday, the new CSC Clubhouse would still not be opened, and I can't hold my party there, which I really want to, mainly due to the attraction of the tall, fun water-slides, treehouses, and bowling alley there. So I really hope it's held next Sat! :)

On a sidenote, my mom just carved me cute little balls of honeydew and served them to me on my favourite fruit plate! So sweet of her! It just made the already-sweet honeydew 100 times sweeter! :) And, I tried natural yoghurt + strawberries + chopped walnuts today. It tastes really good! So now I shall end my blog, eat my nightly spoonful of Lingzhi honey (to help me sleep better) and be happy. :)

P.S. Hey people, please go to the website http://kevan.org/johari?name=qintan and help me fill in the personality traits thingy. It won't take too long and it'll be interesting (for me at least) to see the results. Thanks so much!

JTS at Suntec Rice Table!

2006-02-19T19:59:00.000+08:00

I shall try a different way of blogging today -- a picture tells a thousand words. As the title suggests, this afternoon was our JTS lunch buffet at Suntec Rice Table. As usual, most people arrived late. And as we walked from City Hall MRT station to Suntec...

Rachel and Billy in matching couple shirts. (note: Billy's wearing the shirt Rachel bought for him...)

And then we arrived at The Rice Table, an exquisitely decorated restaurant.

...the people eating at my table: senior guys and junior girls = less wastage of food at the table.

Yu Zhong, Pin Xuan and Melvin. Trying unsuccessfully to get Yu Zhong to smile.

Attempt is successful but the picture is blur, unfortunately.

Zi Yang and Christopher.

Eating...my hands reaching out for the first plate of Tahu Telor.

The other table. Seniors + Chris and Sam.

Sam and Chris acting weird. Too bad the pictures are blur (indicative of violent motion).

...and the food.

Me and my love affair for Tahu Telor (tofu omelette). This's my 4th plate.

And my FIFTH plate of Tahu Telor. Yu Zhong and I were competing to see who finished more food, but obviously he couldn't break my record of ordering FIVE plates of Tahu Telor, haha.

The events preceding this unique fifth (and last) plate:
Me: Waiter!!! I'd like a plate of Tahu Telor without Telor (egg).
Waiter: *jawdrop* HUH!!??
Me: I'd like egg tofu with more tofu and less egg.
Waiter: But it's already made.
Me: I thought you cook it on the spot?
Waiter: *extremely confused*
Me: Ok, just get me the tofu omelette with less egg and more tofu.
Waiter: ERM, okay....

So they piled heaps of chili on the tahu telor to "silence me".

Then lunch ended and we made to leave the restaurant. More photos:

Class girls.

Wei Heng, Jun Zhe and Li Hao. 3 guys acting cool, haha.

Me and my two mortals: Wei Heng and Li Hao.

Angel-mortal: Melvin and Pauline; Pau-pau showing off Melvin's gift to her -- the bracelet.

60 girls! Seniors and juniors.

And then the senior guys went off to play DOTA, the senior girls went to shop at Carrefour, some of the class went to shop at Minitoons or someplace else, and Billy, Chris, Sam, Zi Yang, Pei Han and I went to Yammi Yoghurt.

Guys loving Ronald Macdonald, and Billy feeding him.

More people who love Mr Macdonald, and me feeding Ronald Macdonald watermelon.

Then the rest of the class magically reappeared.

Sam sitting very happily on Wai Hong and Chris, and all 3 appear to be enjoying themsleves immensely.

Afterwards, we went to the arcade to play. Initially I wanted to play DDR (Dance Dance Revolution!) with Wai Hong, but due to some problems with the machine, I played DDR solo, dying at a super fast song "Paranoia". Wei Xiang and Geordie played DDR together later, so: I've succeeded at getting people interested in DDR! Then we watched Billy play shoot-basketball (so pro!), Wai Hong and Jonathan played Time Crisis, then Geordie and I played car-racing (to quote Wai Hong: "Battle of the Sexes!") At first I was winning, but I crashed at some turn and from then on lost the lead!

Then I went home still feeling very bloated. Imagine 5 plates of Tahu Telor sitting inside your stomach!!! To be fair, poor Melvin finished most of the egg (since I liked the tofu more than the egg.) But nevertheless, it's cholesterol and calorie overload for me, so I shall TRY to stay off eggs for one week (that's very very hard, since I love to eat eggs, especially fried runny-yolk eggs!). And I went jogging (not running, as my thigh muscles still hurt from Chinese Dance practice) for about 25 minutes, before having MORE TOFU (famous and delicious Ampang Yong Tau Foo from this very old shop in Sembawang that my mom bought on her way home from Grandma's house.) for dinner. I come to the conclusion that: I'm an incurable tofu fanatic!!!

Now I shall try to crack my brains over the KI minutes on the Plato seminar, which I have not finished. I don't seem to have done any homework, I wonder where my weekend went. Ah well.

cross-country

2006-02-15T21:31:00.000+08:00

Happy day! This is the first time I've skipped Maths lecture. We walked over to the Poolside Restaurant at the high school side during lunch, but the food took so long to be served that by the time we finished eating, half-an-hour of Math lecture was gone, so we headed straight to the field for fire-drill. After we were dismissed, I played several fun rounds of table soccer at the fishtank with Pau-Pau, Siobhan, Che Hao and Jonathan (my team!), as welll as Yang Sai, Steve, Bryan and Wei Xiang (the other team!). Obviously, due to the presence of 4 girls including me, we created quite a racket in the fishtank (understatement of the day).

Cross country this year was satisfying. I got 11th position in the Competitive Girls Run, an improvement from 12th position last year. After running, I went and walked the Girls' Mass Run with Pau-Pau and Yang Sai, and 2 of Pau-Pau's friends. On the way we held and swung our hands, blocking the entire path (didn't matter since we were almost the last) and sung "dang1 wo3 men2 tong2 zai4 yi4 qi3" (literally translated as "when we're together". it's the songs we used to sing in primary school days, remember?) very loudly. So amusing! And after a while, when the guys (Mass Run) started overtaking us, we cheered for all those people we knew, telling them to run faster, run on, when we were strolling. The irony!

After dismissal, our class and seniors walked to "The Long House" (a hawker centre) for dinner together. In short, it was amusing and fun. I conclude that I have an interesting bunch of seniors, just like our class is an interesting class with such unique and diverse characters that it's very difficult to form cliques. There's a saying that: several girls come together = a market. I say that: several guys come together = a primary school. HA HA HA!

On a sidenote, I think Chris really likes my trophy. Therefore maybe I should get him a replica of the trophy, including the words "competitive GIRLS' race", for his birthday. :D Of course this is a joke, sorry to disappoint you. :P

Oh, and I got into the second round of the selection process for the UWC Overseas Scholarship! It's a day camp on 26 Feb (Sun). I don't know whether to be happy or what. I'm having mixed feelings. I guess IF I get the scholarship (which means I've to leave for overseas end of Aug this year), I probably might not take it up if I'm feeling too attached to Hwa Chong and to 60. I'm someone who decides by my heart and not my mind. Haha.

Valentine's Day

2006-02-14T19:46:00.000+08:00

Valentine's Day is a day of giving and receiving presents, to loved ones, to close friends, and, in Hwa Chong's case, to our angel(s) and mortal(s)-- seniors we have been writing to for 2 months. It's our version of Thanksgiving, which we don't celebrate. On this day, I gave a bagful of presents (which I spent more than 10 hours preparing, if you include shopping and procrastination time) and received a bagful of presents which I really like in return.

When I came home, my sister asked me: "Where's my gift?" I told her there wasn't any, because giving gifts to (for some, girls/guys they like) friends and angels/mortals is a tradition. Then it occurred to me: aren't my sister, my family loved ones too? Aren't they the people I love most?

Then it struck me. Do I care about being nice to people in general so much that I neglect those closest to me? Am I so self-indulgent that I neglect the needs and feelings of others? Do I take the presence and concern of those closest to me, so much for granted, that I never reciprocate their feelings?

Taking people for granted is a sin I've committed.

And these are the oens who help me up when I'm down, who stay by me in silence as I cry, who cheer with me when I'm high, who care for me when I'm ill, who love me regardless of how I change and how I look.

Has anyone seen me cry? I'm only happy, so often, because of these people. My loved ones -- my family. And my dearest friends: Xin Ying, Michy, Sheue.

Happy Valentine's Day, my dear friends and 60! Here's a song I dedicate to all of you.

Because You Loved Me by Celine Dion
For all those times you stood by me
For all the truth that you made me see
For all the joy you brought to my life
For all the wrong that you made right
For every dream you made come true
For all the love I found in you
I'll be forever thankful baby
You're the one who held me up
Never let me fall
You're the one who saw me through through it all

[chorus]
You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

You gave me wings and made me fly
You touched my hand I could touch the sky
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me
You said no star was out of reach
You stood by me and I stood tall
I had your love I had it all
I'm grateful for each day you gave me
Maybe I don't know that much
But I know this much is true
I was blessed because I was loved by you

[chorus]

You were always there for me
The tender wind that carried me
A light in the dark shining your love into my life
You've been my inspiration
Through the lies you were the truth
My world is a better place because of you

[chorus]

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

happiness

2006-02-12T10:34:00.000+08:00

I'm HAPPY! It seems that everyone can stay in our class, cos the O-level track people did well, got below 8 points, and those in the IP got above D7 for HCL paper, which means they don't need to take H1 MTL and can stay in the class! Pau-Pau the crazy girl actually went and got 10 A1s! I felt so proud of her when her name was flashed on the screen under the "girls who got 10 A1s" in the hall. It's a great feeling, to know your friends did well for their O levels. It's almost as if you got those results yourself. Rachel and Siobhan all did well for their Os too, I feel really happy for them. As for me, I was contented as well. A1 for HCL and 4 prizes. Actually I'm not happy because of my results themselves, though of course I'm satisfied with my performance. I'm happy because my Mom's happy. I love to see her smiling, happy and proud of me. It beats other kinds of personal happiness. And that's my main motivation in studies.

On Saturday, the Chi Dance practice was tough as usual (with the result that I'm currently aching all over), aggravated by my flu and sorethroat. But the tough training gives me a sense of purpose, and spurs me on to improve as a dancer. After Dance practice, Xin Ying and I went to Bkt Timah Food Centre for lunch. The whole experience of walking slowly (both of us hungry souls aching terribly) together, chatting, eating together was really pleasant. Nothing beats spending time together with a close friend.

I spent 6 hours yesterday trying to download great songs I like a lot and burning them onto a cd to give people, but somehow the cd burner's screwed, so I've to spend 3 more hours this morning burning them. But the thought that at least it's a sincere gift which I compiled with my own effort and time, warms me and keeps me continuing. I hope the computer appreciates my hardwork and cooperates. (hear that, computer? Or shall I put it into binary code for you?)

my dear 60

2006-02-10T09:04:00.000+08:00

Last night was a memorable class dinner at Bkt Timah Food Centre. Yes the food was good, but besides that, it was memorable, because of the people who bothered to come even though they may be tired after an entire day of school and the tension they feel due to the approaching release of O level results; the chatter and laughter as we talk loudly over food, mindless of table-manners preached by adults; and the amusing mass "escorting to the bus stop". I really love 60. It's a great class. I love Hwa Chong because I'm in 60, because I'm a part of this fantastic group of people.

I can't imagine people leaving our class because of O Level results. I can't imagine our class being split up after March because of the differences in subject combinations (the 2 major different combis being PCME and PCMK which I take) and because of the possibility of people having to take H1 MTL. No, please let that NOT happen to our class. Please let us stay together!

And to my dear beloved 60,
You raise me up... To more than I can be.

first chi dance practice

2006-02-08T20:34:00.000+08:00

I broke my record this morning: I had a stitch which lasted 2.5 hours! Unbelievable isn't it? I think it came about because I was almost going to be late for KI lessons after running 3 big rounds around the school, so I just rushed to the classroom and sat down for the lesson without cooling down / doing any stretches or exercises. Which resulted in an intense stitch on the left side, lasting throughout the entire KI lesson and break, and the first part of Math lecture. Now I finally figured out the perfect way to get rid of stitches: Drink lots of hot water and lie as flat as you can, which was what I did during Math lecture.

This afternoon heralded the official start of HC Chinese Dance: a gruelling 4 hour practice from 3 -- 7pm. Wearing the (newly bought) body-hugging dance leotard for the first in a long time made me feel uncomfortable initially, but I got used to the feel of the leotard soon after. Now I understand why many dancers are so weight-conscious. Hahaha. The pressure to have a slim and yet (ahem) non-flat figure at the same time. LOL. Some J1 dancers felt the instructor was too harsh, but personally I quite prefer this strict training. At least it compels me to move beyond my comfort zone and exceed my limits, and it gives a sense of purpose in the whole dance practise: to better myself and (try to) satisfy the high expectations of the instructor. (Ok, maybe he's not an instructor, but a very pro grand-senior) It's quite sad that I may have to go for the SRP selection tests at NUS this Saturday, so I've to miss the dance practice. :( I think I may just become a Chi Dance fanatic. I hope my passion for Chinese Dance will continue burning just as strongly or more strongly throughout the rest of my time in Hwa Chong! :) Chinese Dance rocks!

The Tag of Love: your ideal Other Half

2006-02-07T19:40:00.000+08:00

I've been tagged by Michy, so here're the answers, in conjunction with the upcoming Valentine's Day.

The tagged victim has to come up with 8 different points of their perfect lover. Need to mention the sex of the target. Tag 8 victims are to join this game & leave a comment on their page saying they’ve been tagged. If tagged the 2nd time, there's no need to post again.

Target: Male (I'm 100% straight, yeah)
1. Loves me :) (obviously duh)
2. Good-looking (athletic + tall + non-nerd-looking)
3. Not necessarily have to be outgoing / talkative. I'd much rather the kind of person you can spend time with without speaking a word and yet still feel absolutely comfortable, contented, secure and happy just being with him
4. Nice personality + good character
5. Sporty, adventurous, and has a great love for the outdoors/ nature
6. Understanding and caring
7. Has a direction in life that complements mine / same basic beliefs
8. Gentlemanly! AND non-metrosexual = no sissies please (I prefer guyish guys but not the act-macho kind)

(P.S. Michy! I realise I've lots in common with you! In fact I think some points I just copied from yours and edited them, lol.)

Is that considered overly-high expectations? I suppose that's why I've chosen not to be attached, yet.

Now, I tag:

everybody in 60! (06S60 and seniors!)

cross country familiarisation run; (new cca???)

2006-02-07T19:13:00.000+08:00

The main highlight of today was the X-country familiarisation run at MacRitchie. In my memories, X-country was always hell and heaven. The running bit was hell, but the moment when you just crossed the finishing line, and the getting of a position that you're satisfied with (of course, there must be improvement from previous years as well), was heaven. Yet, when I ran today, it really wasn't as bad or as tiring as I had supposed it to be. Maybe because I didn't have to sprint all the way to the finishing line, maybe because there wasn't the stress from the actual race itself, maybe because I was running with Rachel beside me throughout, but I found the run to be quite enjoyable actually. I clocked approx 17min 40s for the route today (3.2km or 3.4km I guess). Improved timing, but I was rather perturbed today when I found out from Yu Zhong that J1s and J2s compete together. That effectively means, getting into Top 20 is much much harder, with competition from the seniors as well. Argh!

On another note, I think my drama skills are really not up to standard, so I wasn't selected for Dramafeste (but I don't really mind it, I'll be able to enjoy Dramafeste as audience with 60!!!). I was asked to be one of the calafare in one scene, but I declined. Partially due to pride I guess, partially because I can't really do what I've no passion in, and partially because KI's starting to get increasingly demanding. I don't really know whether I'll actually get satisfying roles in ELDDFS. There's been like, near zero meetings for Drama and Debate wings so far anyway. And I heard that my friend (who was not from Trampoline and is not very tall), joined Trampoline. I'm actually rather interested in joining it. But considering that Chinese Dance may require a lot more commitment as the year progresses (already, it's now Wed and Sat for practices!!!), and that KI is gonna get demanding as well, and there's a possibility that Debates and Drama may start having sessions, I really don't know whether I should join it. Maybe...not?

Btw, does anyone feel like going to MacRitchie one of these days, weekends probably, to do another trial run? Hope more 60 people can come join me! ALL FOR THE CLASS, ALL FOR 60!!! Whee! :)

thanks! the importance of communication.

2006-02-05T18:55:00.000+08:00

Firstly, I really want to say: THANK YOU!!! to everyone who's given me encouragement and advice regarding the problem with my sister (there's something wrong with Blogger, so the post below regarding my sister should be dated Saturday). I'm really very touched by all of you. So, to all of you: Rachel, Billy, Michelle, Pei Han, Ernest and Jun Wen, a big THANK YOU yet again! You guys really rock!

As for the problem with my sister, I spent the whole of yesterday night talking with her as nicely and openly as I could for over 2 hours. Amidst tears and laughter, we finally sorted out all the misunderstandings and differences between us, and I'm happy to say that we're both more or less enlightened. Though our eyes were swollen this morning from last night, the warmth still hasn't dissipated.

I guess relationships are all about communication. Communication is like a tie, a bridge which links two islands. Without communication, it's like building ice walls between the two, so much so that one day when we finally decide to communicate, we find that the wall is so high it's insurmountable. Just as it is for siblings, it's the same for parent-child, and for friends.

It's not that easy to set aside 1 hour every day to talk to each other. Each of us have our own friends, school life, homework, CCAs, activities, and what not. Perhaps I'll just take the effort to take evening walks around the estate with her every so occasionally. Perhaps then our relationship can be one that's open and relatively free of misunderstandings.

I can't understand my sister!

2006-02-05T17:37:00.000+08:00

ARGH!!! My sister DYED her hair reddish brown today!!! AND SHE'S ONLY SEC 2! She's still schooling!!! I still can't believe it. When I came home today, I found that she had cut her hair (her previous hairstyle was short hair, quite ordinary but still pleasant looking), and her new hairstyle turns out to be very much thinned hair (above-shoulders), with SPIKES AND VERY SHORT HAIR poking out on TOP of her head like some rambutan! It's totally horrid!

I really can't understand her. Even though it's not my hair, my heart aches at how she destroyed her hair. Before, she looked decent. Now she just looks like some punk-wannabe or ah-lian-wannabe! But why, WHY? Why must she try to look "cool" and try so hard to fit in with the 'in' crowd? Why must she care so much about brandnames? Why does she care so much about trends, be it in fashion or in hairstyles? Why is she ashamed of the black hair that she's born with, that all of us Asians are born with?

Why does she mistrust Mom and I so much, thinking that we're always against her opinions /decisions simply for the sake of disagreeing with her, to the extent that she has to lie that she's going to the library, but went to dye her hair instead; lie that she only wanted "treatment" for her "dry hair", but the hairdresser dyed her hair without her consent; lie that she was going to the sauna downstairs, but used the time to further highlight her hair???

What's wrong with dry hair? Nobody touches your hair to feel if it's dry or not.
What's wrong with black hair? Asians are meant to have black hair, it's natural, it's actually nice. It's OUR ROOTS! It's part of ourselves, what we were born with. Why must we be ashamed of ourselves, the way we are naturally???
What's wrong with JUST ONE EARHOLE on each side?? More metallic stuff / more holes punched through one's body doesn't make one any more attractive / "cooler"!
What's wrong with good-quality / decent stuff that's not of any famous 'brands'? Aren't they of just as good, if not better quality? Aren't they just as nice?
And so what if you have branded goods, that doesn't make you stand out from the rest, nor does it make you any more popular with people!
What's wrong with looking decent/ nicely presentable? Getting short tufts of hair poking out the top of your head, and streaks of red all over your hair, does NOT, in any way, make you look any more attractive. Conversely, it only makes one less attractive / pretty, not to mention less classy!

Why does she care so much about all these things? Is she so insecure, so unconfident?

Why does she always think that Mom and I are against her decisions solely for the sake of not allowing her to do what she wants? Why does she think that we don't care for her at all?

Am I such a failure as an elder sister?

When can she stop being such a disappointment to Mom, and come to her senses and be more mentally mature and self-assured?

What should I do?

papaya milkshake! + shopping at Bugis

2006-02-03T21:11:00.000+08:00

I love papaya milkshakes!!! My Fav Beverage! Discovered my love for it this morning. After running less than 3km (3 big rounds), Zi Chong, Jin Quan and Geordie (all of whom I dragged to the track, cos I didn't want to run alone. They didn't run though, just sat there talking) and I headed off to the high school canteen (yes, again!), where I got my first taste of lovely creamy milky foamy thick and yummy papaya milkshake!

After school (another day of boring lectures + tutorials + not-so-boring-but-lots-of-arguing KI class), I went to Bugis. I got my dance leotard which is VERY tight-fitting! That means, I must maintain my weight and absolutely cannot get ANY fatter OR I'll not be able to fit into that costly piece of black cotton-spandex thing again! I also got a pair of long black dress pants which I adore. At least it doesn't cling on as much, and flares out nicely at the ankles.

When I walked out of Golden Landmark Complex into Bugis Village, the first thing that greeted my eyes was: a shop selling PAPAYA MILKSHAKE! Naturally I couldn't resist the temptation and bought it for $1.80. More ice + less milk + less papaya + $1.80 = conclusion that the Chi High papaya milkshake is TONS better than papaya milkshakes outside.

Anyway I strolled around Bugis Village for another 2 hours, buying random and not-so-random things before eating at Rochor Food Centre and finally deciding to head home.

Now, my main headache is to decide which gifts are for whom. Not an easy task at all...(and there's still a very fei4 and redundant BUT compulsory CT module on Public Speaking tmr! Yucks.)

fun day!: x-country practice plus njc crashing!

2006-02-02T19:49:00.000+08:00

It's been a pretty fun and exciting day! Well, the first part wasn't. Chem lecture was so rushed, though I kind of understood what the lecturer was saying. And Physics practical was quite boring, to think I yawned 10 times during the 2 hours! Mr Loi is a really nice and funky teacher, but it just happens that the rhythmic swirling of the fans in the lab (plus the fact that I never really liked Physics prac, + the fact that I'm suffering, still, from a lack of sleep), proved to be too sleep-inducing to me. Side-note: Rachel's shoulder is really nice to lean on!

When our long-awaited 1.5 hour break finally came half past noon, I was practically dozing off as I walked back to the class bench. I was thinking of sleeping at the class bench or at the FishTank, but in the end I went running at the track with Rachel, Siobhan, Wai Hong and Billy, and dear Miao Qin came along to watch us, even though she'd already ran earlier during her 2-hour break. I'm happy! My timing has improved, 19+ minutes for 3.6km, down from 18+ minutes for 3.2km. I know I've still got a long way to go, if I don't want to let the class down, but I'll take it slowly at a time. (oh dear, X-country is coming up soon!) It was much more interesting and fun running with them, rather than running alone, and for the last 100m, Billy and I were sprinting, trying to outdo each other, so perhaps that's why my timing improved, haha. There should be more "class" X-country practices together!

After doing some stretching and cooling down, the 5 of us lazed around at the terrace beside the track, chatting, lying on our backs looking up at the bright white fluffy clouds above (thank goodness no birds flew above), doing different variations of push-ups, and just laughing. It was the ultimate form of relaxation and 'chilling out with friends' (it was really windy!)! I thoroughly enjoyed those moments, though they may span only half an hour, but they're the most enjoyable moments of today. Hey Rachel, Miao Qin, Siobhan, Billy and Wai Hong, you guys rock!

the highlight: crashing NJC
It was almost 2 and we'd been lazing around for quite some time, when Siobhan got the crazy idea to crash NJC. Rachel immediately agreed, and so Wai Hong, Billy and I went along too, while dear Miao Qin went back to help us take attendance (so nice of her!). It was really funny, the 4 of us in Hwa Chong PE shirt and shorts, brazenly strolling into NJC while people stared and the dear security guard just looked at us without doing anything. We went to their big canteen, and lo and behold! A great variety of stalls greeted us. NJC students sure are lucky. We decided upon the Dessert stall, and I ordered a Soursop-Icebowl, which tasted refreshingly fantastic, while the rest ordered different variations of the Icebowl. We also attempted persuading the auntie operating the stall to shift stall to Hwa Chong, or set up a sidebranch there, so if you see a nice Icekachang stall in Hwa Chong in the future, you know who to thank. ;) The toilets there are also really nice! Not to mention, clean and dry.

After spending an hour at NJC without anyone chasing us out (though we were stared at a lot), we finally strolled back to Hwa Chong. On our way out, we smiled, waved and did V signs with our fingers at the security camera near the gate (you must always be polite and nice to the host! haha). Of course, we didn't forget the jolly security guard, how could we?:
Us: BYE uncle!!! *wave wave*
Guard: *waves back* Bye, you're from Hwa Chong aren't you?
Us: Ya! We...went to see some teachers!
Guard: *nods understandingly*
Us: BYE BYE uncle!!! (me: Have a nice day!!!) *wave enthusiastically*
Guard: Bye! *waves*
HAHAHAHA!!! What fun-ness!

When we finally went back to Hwa Chong, I went to laze around with the rest of the class, and Pauline, Zhao Rui and I formed an "S.H.E." team! It started out with them singing a song ("Yi Qian1 Nian2 Yi3 Hou4" by LJJ), then I joined in as well, and Yangsai commented that 3 of us sing well together, which inflated our ego, spurring us to form the "S.H.E." team -- ('Selena' is Pau-Pau, 'Hebe' is me, and 'Ella' is Zhao Rui) how funny! We went on further to embarrass the class by singing "Bah bah black sheep", the Hwa Chong english school song, and other songs at the top of our voices before we finally stopped and I went off for Bio.

After a mind-boggling Bio lesson, Billy, Miao Qin and I went off to watch the Inter-CT Touch Rugby competition. Pau-pau, Yang Sai and I were the 3 crazy girls who kept shouting "60 jia you!!!" throughout the competition. The 60 team was cool, and we had drawn 1 and won 1 by the time I left. I hope we won. :) But it doesn't really matter, as long as the players enjoyed themselves.

I hope all school days can be as fun as today! And I'm looking forward to shopping at Bugis with my fellow Chi Dancer for dance leotards tomorrow!

Whee! Life is about having fun and enjoying every moment!

swimming cleanses exhaustion

2006-02-01T20:02:00.000+08:00

Fatigue and tiredness shows itself after 3 days of adequate rest ended abruptly. I was glad to go to school, but I guess my sleep-deprived body wasn't that glad. Much of the day was spent stoning; it seemed I didn't have enough energy to be as animated as usual.

In the afternoon, practising the college dances in the hall during the "30 minutes of school spirit" rejuvenated me (pity it wasn't earlier or I'd be much more awake for the rest of the day). How I wish there was "30 minutes of school spirit" every single day, then I'd be able to enjoy dancing the college dances daily. Then I went for my first Chinese Dance session. Which was quite alright, since it turned out to be 'orientation' and 'meet-the-seniors' session. The seniors are so bonded! I hope our batch turns out like them as well, after all as the seniors said, we'd have to perform for 2 very major and important events -- this year's Mid-Autumn Festival and next year's SYF -- alone, without any seniors or juniors. Dance practice aside, I've to invest in a dance leotard and dress pants. Somehow the thought of going shopping, especially at Bugis or any other area with lots of affordable and funky stuff, never fails to excite me. :D

I just went swimming earlier. I think I'm falling in love with swimming. It gives me an almost noiseless void and time to think, to contemplate, to reflect, to be truly alone, shut off from all the noise, chaos and bustle on the land. The cooling water cleanses my body and my mind from all the exhaustion and stress; it purifies my soul. I especially love swimming right after a downpour, when the water's so refreshingly cool, and swimming in the rain, hearing the raindrops patter down in a soothing lullaby, feeling the drops splash onto my body when I surface. How much more in tune to Nature's elements can I get? Of course, having a relatively void-of-people, clean and free-of-chlorine-stink swimming pool conveniently located right downstairs adds to my enjoyment as well. It's a pity that school ends really late most of the days, so I won't be able to go swimming as occasionally compared to during the holidays.

the 6 people outing

2006-01-31T20:31:00.000+08:00

The 5 ppl(/gamblers) remaining at Wei Heng's house by 4.30pm. Not in picture: dear Hong Li! Who left to visit her teacher 10 min earlier (and forgot to bring her bag with her wahahaha)

I was looking forward to a fun 6O outing at East Coast Park today, with many people playing at the beach, in the sun and surf. But after a whole day of sms-ing and calling people, and posting on the class blog, there was only Jonathan from our class who turned up besides me. It was just the 3 of us: Yu Zhong, Jonathan and I, feeling quite disappointed at the turnout and lingering around Bedok mrt wondering if more people would come. In the end, we decided to crash Wei Heng's house while waiting for Samuel (who eventually didn't come at all) and Hong Li to come.

At first we were quite bored, watching the tv aimlessly. After Wei Heng finished his lunch, he came and joined Jonathan and I for card games (Taiti) while Yu Zhong remained glued to the tv screen watching I-Robots (I think that's what it's called). Jonathan kept winning! After that Wei Heng taught me Blackjack, and we started gambling for a while before Hong Li and Elaine joined us as well. Hong Li certainly has a lively presence that brightens up the whole atmosphere! She introduced a fun and funny card game with everyone represented by an animal, testing your quick response, and this game was won, yet again, by Wei Heng who seemed to be on a winning streak again. After chatting and watching snippets of tv for a while longer, we finally left at 4.30pm.

Even though not many people turned up for today's outing, I'm really thankful to all those who bothered to turn up: Jonathan, Yu Zhong, Wei Heng, Hong Li and Elaine. And to Wei Heng for opening up his house to us uninvited guests. They made my day. Yep I still had fun chatting, playing cards, lazing around and even stoning together. Fun which I would otherwise not have, had I spent the time at home.

After conversing with the seniors, I realise that they're much more enthusiastic as a class, with many more class outings than us, in their first three months. Even though they're in JC2 and their workload is much heavier than ours, they're still more enthusiastic when it comes to outings, than us. I don't know the real reason why 99% of the class said they could not turn up for the outing, but perhaps it's a sign that our initial enthusiasm is fading off? I certainly hope this is not the case, or it'll be really sad to imagine a class where everybody is just concerned about mugging, or are merely too lazy to travel the distance (how big can Singapore get??) to meet up as a class. After all, we've only got 2 years together as a class! We can have the rest of our lives to stone and slack away at home, or to sleep the entire day, or to play computer games, or to mug, BUT we only have two years to go out and have fun together as a class! Maybe it's because I'm really lousy at organising activities, in which case I'll gladly resign and let more capable people take over the task. But either way, I hope the turnout for future outings won't be as bad as this.

Happy Chinese New Year, and Farewell my CNY holidays!

CNY celebrations and outing with seniors!

2006-01-28T14:12:00.000+08:00

From left: Miao Qin, me, Cheryl on top and Pauline below, Rachel.
Bottom pic: 06S60 in auspicious colours! Count the number of rabbit (or should it be dog?) ears Jonathan has! And hmmm...who's tugging on Wai Hong's shirt?

Yesterday, Hwa Chong had its annual Chinese New Year celebrations! There was a string of events in the concert put up for us, like Chinese Orchestra, Band and Wushu performance, and not forgetting the fabulous Chinese Dance performance put up by my wonderful, zai and pretty Chinese Dance seniors! But soon it was time for the street-market, with stalls manned by the J1s and the councillors. The food items we sold, namely not-so-ballish ice-ball (more like ice kachang), nice-smelling toast and Milo (baby) Dinosaur seemed to be quite popular, or at least I seemed to get it quite quickly off my hands, but after subtracting the costs from the earnings, we only earned a net profit of 20+ bucks, haha. But well, at least it was fun, rather. After clearing up, it was time for the Mass Dances! I've always liked Mass Dances, and I still like Mass Dances a lot. It was fun, yeah! Even though I didn't really know the steps and couldn't see the demonstration. So was the Faculty dance (actually that was the FIRST time I danced the first fac dance. I only learnt the second fac dance.) though Aries and Apollo won the competition with their sheer participation numbers. Somehow Artemis-ians and Athenians seem to be less enthusiastic overall, though I still am proud to be an Athenian.

After the CNY celebrations all ended and a little ceremony of "lao-yu-sheng" with the seniors, we (Samuel, Weixiang, Charmaine, Miao Qin and I) went for lunch at Raffles City together with the seniors, before heading off to watch I Not Stupid 2 at Marina Square. The movie was entertaining, and rather exceeded my expectations (not a very remarkable feat considering my expectations for a local movie was very low). It was both funny (or rather, corny) and quite touching at bits (unfortunately the swelling tears were all kept in check by lame anti-climaxes). Though the theme of how "we all need praise" and how "our parents really love us at heart, though they may not express it well" was cliched, somehow it struck a chord with me. I guess I'm the type who needs emotional support and affirmation constantly, though that doesn't mean I lack self-confidence. After dinner, I left, taking the same bus home as Felicia, and we talked for a really long time in the bus. (Felicia is a super-nice senior!!!)

Besides being an enjoyable way of spending my time, this outing made me realise that in Hwa Chong, the seniors actually care about their juniors. In the past, in secondary school, the many of the class seniors didn't even seem to know of our existence, much less bother to get to know us or even go out with us. I even had an angel who didn't write to me at all before my friend's angel decided to adopt me as a mortal. Here, it's different. Especially 60 seniors (like Pei Wen, Junyi, Serena, Nai Fen, the other 05 seniors, etc etc), who care so much about their junior classes that they even crash the junior 60 classes, year after year, and worry about whether our class is bonded or having fun together; who bother to get to know us juniors, to meet up with us and go out together. It's really quite different. And that has made me feel very much a part of 60, and proud of being the 06 batch of S60.

Two years is a short time, to spend with the class as part of 06S60. One year is an even shorter time, to spend with the seniors as part of S60. Let's hope this time will be spent fruitfully, so that all of us will have happy memories and friendships to cherish in time to come, when we step out of this school we call Huang Cheng, in the not-too-distant future.

(Motto in Hwa Chong = LIFE & friendship first, CCAs second, studies third!)
[S60 ROCKS!]
{Happy Chinese New Year to all of you!}

chi dance auditions

2006-01-26T21:04:00.000+08:00

YES! I'm so happy! I got into Chinese Dance!!! And the seniors are so nice and chio and have good figures! Good role models, hehe.

AND. I'm still having problems with the background. At first the great almighty Junyi helped me fix the background image, then because I wanted the image (800X600) to extend to fit the 1028 resolution screen, I got Liew Qi to help me twiddle with the html. But now it turns out really screwed for some reason... :( I guess I was "hua4 she2 tian1 zu2". But I'm really thankful to both of them for their help so far. I really am html-illiterate. :(

I got a great surprise when I stepped into the lift, coming home just now. The lift interior's totally renovated and revamped! It looks really nice now. But that's only for ONE of the 2 lifts.

Actually I ran 3.2 km in school today, quite slowly. The timing's quite bad, 18 minutes for 3.2km. I've really got to improve on it, but I guess I've got to be patient. (and I think I'll die if I run everyday, so I won't be so silly as to inflict self-torture.)

Sidenote: I'm falling in love with Chinese Dance! Reliving my childhood days as a Chinese Dancer. YAY! AND: I'm really incoherent today.

Archive -- LiveJournal Entries!

2006-01-23T19:26:00.000+08:00

AH! Finally done transferring all relevant LJ posts into BLogger Archive. Goodness knows how painstaking that is. -_-" Underlined titles = more memorable / impt posts.

24.01.06: survey question to everyone.

Hey everyone!!! I've a question to ask all of you: Do you think I should change my blog from LiveJournal to Blogger? Personally I prefer Blogger cos it's more customisable (e.g. I can create my own layout easily) AND it may be easier to comment (tagboard!) and read. But with LiveJournal, it may be easier to read all the "friends (LiveJournal ones)" page at one go. Chinese New Year is coming so I'll probably be making changes, IF any, before then. Please comment! (for non-LJ users, just use the anonymous option). If you're free, can you also state the reason too? (e.g. Blogger more reader-friendly or easier to tag etc etc) THANK YOU!!!

On today. Well it's just school as normal, and we had our very first actual P.E. lesson (last week one was BORING, merely first-aid lessons in the hall followed by height and weight taking) today. It was quite fun actually, ran 2 big rounds around the school (less than 2km only, not very tiring, but I always hate running up slopes. Eek. Same as how I hate climbing stairs.) followed by inclined pull-ups, which I'm pathetic in (did only 10, with 7 at one go, and 3 at another go. Thank goodness the teacher wasn't looking.) I lack arm strength!

The teacher finally came for CSP tutorial today. Late, too. Somehow she reminds me of a primary school teacher, but I guess she's nice in the sense that she didn't scream at us or scold us, only nagging and being quite pissed. I got a great surprise when she started asking me whether I wanted to join Chinese Dance!!! (to which I replied yes, I'm going for the audition tomorrow) So I sort of figured she was the teacher-in-charge of Chinese Dance.

And if I don't get into Chinese Dance, I'll most probably join sailing! (yeah! Sailing's really fun!) Probably a Topper, since I'm too light for Byte (minimum 50kg). Mmm yeah, life's fun! (sidenote: ARG! There's no more persimmons in the fridge!!!)

23.01.06: Class KBOX outing + my ideal birthday feast

Yesterday was the class kbox outing, at Cineleisure. To be honest, I didn't have a good impression of KBOX to start off with, since the last time I came, many of the songs I knew how to sing well, and liked a lot, were not available, and the food totally sucked big time, so even though I was treated to KBOX, I didn't enjoy it. But this class kbox outing changed my impression for the better! It was f u n, we got to sing, got rowdy, and there was a nice noisy atmosphere. Even the lunch (grilled fish) was much better than the one I ate here the other time, even though I still don't call it very satisfactory. I got introduced to several nice songs I haven't heard before, and got to sing some of the songs I liked -- Disney Classics like A Whole New World, Can You Feel the Love Tonight, and F4 songs like Di Yi Shi Jian, Liu Xing Yu (Meteor Rain), and Dai Pei Ni's Ni Yao De Ai. (Don't be mistaken, I don't like the F4 members themselves, I only like some of the Meteor Garden songs).

After spending 3 hours (which seemed all too short; we had to get chased more than 3 times before we finally ambled out after finishing with Dang Ni Gu Dan Ni Hui Xiang Qi Shui) at KBOX, we lingered around the first level for a while, and at this shop called Dodo Club I was immensely attracted by the display of numerous nail polish bottles in many pretty shades of colours! I tried out different colours on all my fingernails, before finally deciding on one. Hehe, I've a sort-of fetish for painting nails.

Next was arcade. I hung around with Yangsai watching the others play for a while, bored, before somebody finally agreed to play DDR (Dance Dance Revolution!) with me. Too bad it lasted only two rounds; too short for my standards. And the steps were much slower than expected!

Finally, after realising Pool would be too expensive, Yang Sai and I left for home, taking the same bus together. On the journey, we talked a lot. I must admit I got to know her much better after today, and yeah, when I see her, I don't think of her as a PRC, I just think of her as a friend and a fellow 06S60! I'm glad she integrates well into the class and that our class doesn't really have any PRC cliques or any other cliques for that matter. =) S60 ROCKS my world!!!

Sidenote: I simply am madly in love with...YOGHURT!!! Edit: NATURAL YOGHURT!!! Edit: Marigold NATURAL YOGHURT!!! (the one in the 1-L Tub and no-sugar-added type. sugar spoils the natural taste of yoghurt). Someone please buy that for my birthday; I want it for my "birthday cake"!!! And those who dare to stomach the taste can share my "birthday cake" in class. HEHE. Let's draw an analogy: for all hardcore ice-cream fanatics out there, natural yoghurt is to me what good ice-cream (say, Swensens, Ben&Jerry's) is to them. For all sweets fanatics out there, FRUITS (read: Persimmons! Kiwis! Blueberries! Strawberries! etc, with the EXCEPTION of YUCKY jackfruit & grapefruit) are to me what the loveliest sweets are to them. For all chocolate fanatics out there, nuts (read: WALNUTS! Cashewnuts! Roasted Almonds!) are to me what Belgium / Swiss chocs are to them.
Combine them all and you get my ideal birthday feast / food prezzie: (Marigold / Yoplus) Natural Yoghurt + FRUITS (esp my fav fruits) + nuts (esp walnuts). Hehe. My birthday's on 1st March btw. Goody, falls on a Wednesday. Can celebrate with 60! =)

20.01.06: CCA, Dramafeste auditions

Anticipation. The very first I did this morning was to check the list of people who got into MAD. Roving name after name, down the list, I realised that my name wasn't there. It was disappointing. How could it not be? After all, I really wanted MAD to be my core cca, the cca I concentrated on. I really love to dance. But now, my cca life has lost its focus. Sure I'm in several other CCAs: ELDDFS (Drama and debates), Health and Fitness, Canoeing (which my mom wants me to quit, and which I think I most probably will quit), and Recreational Tennis (which, from what I hear, doesn't start until after March). And I really want to join a core cca which invigorates you physically, one with competitions and not just for recreation so that I have a direction to work towards. I don't think I'm the type for Touch Rugby or soccer though, even while ppl have been asking me to join these ccas. Taekwondo? Doesn't really appeal to me. Maybe only Youth Flying Club really appeals to me (after MAD), but there's the evil height restriction (sigh). Argh, someone, give me advice on what cca(s) that fit my requirements! I'll reward you handsomely (with chocs) if it turns out to be a great cca for me to join.

On a sidenote, I had 2 hours of free periods from 8-10am this morning! How cool is that. I spent the time playing tennis with Zi Chong, Jin Quan, and somebody else whom I think is called Joe Young (I don't know how to spell). I play tennis badminton-style and that really handicaps me greatly. I really hope I can improve quickly with more practice, or poor Zi Chong and Jin Quan will suffer from boredom.

After school, some of us 6o ppl went for Dramafeste auditions (Jonathan, Bryan, Wei Xiang, Siobhan, Michelle, Siew Ching and I; Pauline and Yang Sai came much later but they only signed up for backstage). 6o dominated the whole audition -- we were the only class there! The committee said that last year 6o was the Dramafeste class too, so I guess traditions continue on. :D It was interesting and quite funny to see everybody audition out the different roles. I just hope I get chosen to act in the Dramafeste for Athena. Of course it'll be even better if the whole cast was from 6o! Yeah!

19.01.06: 2nd round of MAD auditions

I was so surprised last night. When I received the message from the MAD senior saying that I've been shortlisted for the 2nd round of MAD auditions. I seriously thought I had no more chance of getting in. Looking back, I guess I was really silly and weak to doubt myself just because of an audition which didn't go well. How could I just give up and be so despondent, just because of a small failure??? If I despair so easily, what about the big failures when they come? Would I just break down like that?

I can't! I've got to get up again, and try again! I have to be stronger than that! I don't want to be a weakling, I don't want to cry after every failure. I want to be strong. I have to believe in myself.

That's what makes the difference -- faith and perseverence.

Perhaps that was why the 2nd round of MAD auditions today went much better than yesterday. It was another chance, a last chance to prove myself, and I did try my best. Thanks to Wei Xiang and Ernest whom I practised the dance with, I found my confidence and ease again. True true, I forgot some of the dance steps when repeating the sequence, but at least I continued on freestyle from there.

Now I'll just wait for the results. If I get in, I get in. If I don't, I don't. At least I tried.

And yeah! Thanks to Qiu Rong, Siobhane and Jonathan for erm, watching and giving us moral support by your presence! hehe.

18.1.06: MAD auditions

It's a sad sad day. I went for MAD auditions (both Modern Dance and Hip Hop) and I think I screwed both up really badly! Somehow, I just kept forgetting the dance steps, and that really made me fumble quite badly. Now, I can just hope. And hope.

It's quite depressing to see so many people out there much better than me. Who remember all their moves, or at least most of them. Who are so much more at ease with all the steps, and look so much better dancing. Who get nods and looks of appraisal from the seniors, and their friends watching below. And me, just a mediocre dancer-wannabe with too much expectations.

I'm not saying that I'm particularly good. It's just that I thought I could dance, at least better than average. After all the time of hearing people say I look like a born dancer, that I dance well; after all that, today's audition turn-out was a major disappointment, a crushing dip of confidence.

I still know what I want. I know I've a strong passion for dance, and that will never change regardless of the audition results. But now, I don't know whether I'm any good in dance anymore.

I don't know, I really don't know.

17.01.06: School and Friends

Already, it's two days into the official start of lessons. Though it's mainly just introduction, well, it still can get quite boring at times. :( But I guess that's what SCHOOL is. It can't be all fun and no work.

Just felt a bit off today. Can't really write everything here, but it's basically because of the way someone I consider my friend seems to throw blunt remarks about. Oh well. Maybe it's also because I can be rather too sensitive at times?

Anyway, it's at times like these, when I'm down, that I feel strongly the value of friendship, and the warmth and comfort that my good friend(s) bring. Again: Thanks Ernest! You rock! :)

15.1.06: 60 class birthday!

1+1+4 = 6 That's why our class birthday fell on yesterday, 14th Jan! Or at least that's what I heard. Or maybe it's 15th Jan. Someone, enlighten me!

As with most gatherings, it started not on a high note. Our class was mostly waiting for seniors to come, before we finally decided to go to Betty's house for our dinner first. After which, people gathered into different groups playing different games. Some of us girls went to Zhao Rui's house at Mandarin Gardens to get playing cards, before we played Polar Bear with the seniors, then Sardines, and then Musical Chairs. Forfeits for the 2 poor unfortunate souls each round were: pass-the-leftover-tofu-with-your-mouth. Very obviously I got sabo-ed again. >.< What can I say!? I come to the conclusion that our seniors are very s a d i s t i c!!! :P

Actually, I'm quite surprised that in JC, the seniors make an effort to interact with the juniors, and stay together as one big class of different batches. It's not the case in secondary schools. Again, it just shows how strong the 60 class spirit is, yeah! Happy Birthday, 60!

On a sidenote, I think JC is a time when we all need to let go of reservedness, and make an effort to socialise and be part of a group. JC's not just a time for us to study. It's also a time for us to socialise and have fun together as teens. It's the last chance we have to be part of a class, studying and playing together. After that, it's just us embarking on the road to university, adulthood and working life as individuals. So, take this opportunity to enjoy school life together with the class, and with friends!

15.01.06: Campfire

Throughout the entire orientation, the campfire on Fri night was distinctly, the most memorable. Well not just the actual campfire itself, but the preparation and selection before that. Even though our class performance item didn't get selected, we performed it as a class, we performed it together! It was a closure to our long hours of exhausting preparation. I'm sorry I couldn't choreograph a cooler, funkier dance though. I just didn't have enough time or ideas. Anyway, it was really great that our class flag got selected to represent Athena, all thanks to Samuel!

The campfire itself was packed full of activity. The emcees were good, and the class items presented were mostly of a high quality as well. I particularly found the dance by A15 awesome! (Looking at how good some of the J1 dancers are, I'm beginning to doubt whether I can get into Music & Dance. Nevertheless, I'll try my best!)

But what made it memorable were not the items, the funky faculty dances, nor the amusing competitions; it was the enthusiasm of the various faculties, of our class; it was the display of the class spirit that shined through the light sticks we waved to the beat of the songs; it was the hapless laughter and jerky movements while we tried to dance the mass dances; it was the running amok in 60-senior-junior-human-train and the offkey singing and the circle of classmates swaying to the college songs.

That was what made this campfire night special.

May 06S60 stay united as a strongly bonded class forever! Rock on, 60!

12.01.06: Class dance practice

Today was a really tiring day for me. The first half of the day was full of boring talks, though the Sex Ed talk (really just a counselling talk) was interesting. The Athena faculty dance's really cool, and I hope to learn it well, and maybe, hopefully, be a Dance I/C or something, if I'm good enough for them.

Afterwards, it was the class dance practice. Somehow the class spirit was dampened, and people were not enthusiastic. Especially after watching class dances that looked professional, by classes which seemed so united and enthusiastic. Even the music cd couldn't be played, which further dampened everyone's mood, so people were reluctant to practise dance. I was frustrated, and tired, just plain tired. But after migrating to another place with less distractions and forcibly getting everyone to practise a few times, things picked up. People were more enthusiastic, and at least more willing to dance, and I think after quite some time, the class dance was more or less synchronised.

And I'm really touched. And grateful. To the class, for cheering for me. Maybe it was just a small thing to all of them, but to me, it made my day. It made all the shouting for people to practise, all the pain in the throat after singing the song loudly so many times, all the fatigue and exasperation worthwhile. I love 06S60!!! And thankful for having such supportive classmates, like Pauline, Cheryl, Rachel, Qiu Rong, and Steve (yeah, he's quiet, but supportive all the same), and yeah Wai Hong for leading the class cheers all this while, just to name a few. And the great seniors as well, for volunteering to buy us dinner and encouraging us on.

I have to thank Ernest as well. If you're reading this, thank you for talking with me all the way home. I enjoy your company and friendship. I really needed to unload my troubles, and now, I have a clearer idea of the career I really want. Sometimes I think friendship is not about how long you knew each other; it's about how much you really understand, and trust enough to share your thoughts with each other.

And I'm really thankful to Junwen as well, for saying that our class dance is great and that I sing well wahahaha (ok, ego boost. most probably it's just a nice encouragement). Sometimes what I need most is encouragement, affirmation and moral support.

And thanks to that unknown guy from that unknown class practising next to us, for lending us the cd player and helping to set it up! (though it was all in vain, due to the cd). His helpfulness really brightened my dampened spirit.

I started the day badly (being late, tired) but I think it ended well, at least emotionally, if not physically (have a sorethroat now), thanks to all these wonderful people!

8.01.06: Loneliness.

In the city, with the sea of people, the waves of unfamilar, different yet similar faces, that pass by, roll on, and surge forward again, what are individuals? What is the meaning of individualism? To others, what are we but names heard and forgotten, faces remembered for a while then faded again in the minds of people? Aren't we but part of the multitude of millions other human beings? And how different is that from an ant in a colony of million other ants?

In the city, we are all lonely. Isolated in an apartment of one of the thousands other high-rise buildings, we are lonely. In the bustling crowd of many other people, we are lonely. In a loud, noisy group of several people making small talk to others at one time, of different people trying to get different people's attentions, of averted eyes, of closedness, of coldness, of forced, spent warmth, we are all lonely.

If strained, forced small talk is loneliness, then comfortable silence, between friends, must be the intimacy that forges closer bonds between two people.

When mutual understanding is achieved, we are no longer isolated. When two souls connect, we are no longer lonely.

7.01.06: Why?

Why do I always want to own everything? Why must I always strive to be the best, to be a person that cannot possibly exist? Why do I always start many things, but give many of them up halfway? Why do I always have the energy and enthusiasm to begin, but never the commitment and steely determination and guts to carry it through and complete things?

I lack the courage the acept mistakes, flaws and failures. I lack the courage to accept any mediocrity on my part, and to continue on when my castle in the air has burst into bubbles, fading away..

I am a dreamer, an idealist, a perfectionist. Those times...like when I've just woken from a dream too beautiful to be true; when I'm shaken from a daydream too sweet to be real; when I finally got something I really wanted but lost it again; when I'm told I've got something I wanted only to find out it was a mistake; when that which I desire is almost within my grasp, but always just a few inches away. Those are the times which dampen my spirit, and shake my courage.

I'm tired. I yearn for the day my heart's desires are finally achieved. But till then, I won't give up. I hope.

6.01.06: Start of a New School Year

Time flies by really fast (how many times have I said that?) but it's already a week into the start of school. To say the truth, I've been eagerly anticipating JC. While I understand that some of my friends are not looking forward to JC as it brings about many changes, it's my personal belief that changes are vital in helping us grow as an individual. Perhaps because I embrace changes, I can greet this new school life with enthusiasm, optimism and energy. While secondary school holds a store of precious and happy memories for me, trying to cling on to the past would only add a tinge of frustration and pessimism to one's view of the world. Only by letting go, by looking forward, can we see new opportunities and doors open for us, savour every moment, and be happy.

Orientation so far has been fun. Well, to say the truth, half boring, and half fun. The talks, briefings (and CT session too) were 'necessary' bores. The icebreaker and orientation games and mass dances were fun! Especially the mass dances! I particularly love the Wild Wild West one. These dances are full of energy and vigour, great for dissipating boredom, getting everybody 'high' and useful in 'breaking ice'. But of course, you'll only enjoy it if you join in the dances enthusiastically. :) I think mass dances are a wonderful way to inculcate school spirit, much better than school cheers. Perhaps due to the physical element?

My Orientation Group and class are wonderful, with nice people in them. So are the seniors! I guess, it's the people who make school life great or bad. Looking forward to the next week and class lunch tomorrow! :)

1.12.05: trekking with tong xun yuans

Finally I've caught on to today's entry.

Green trees, dense humid air, gravel and mud paths, rain, talk and laughter. That forms the bulk of my memories of today's nature trek outing. Of course, not to forget the 8 o'clock sun greeting me as I arrived at MacRitchie Reservoir and was greeted by Wei Lai and Bo Yuan (fellow student correspondents), and subsequently (40 minutes later) by the "lost sheep" Jia Jun and her "lone" friend Crystal. The weather, cool, fair and breezy, was too good for anyone to be impatient, and after a while, we set off on a trail leading towards the Treetop Walk. Lots of talk along the way, so much so that all I registered of the 1-hour-long (approximately) journey there was the consistent crunch of gravel beneath my sandals, the whirring and creaking of insects, the blurred repetitive images of trees, trunks, branches and leaves, and the occasional monkeys and people.As we reached the Treetop Walk, it started raining. But it was a pleasant experience, to feel the wetness of the raindrops splashing against my body, the coolness of the moisture clinging onto my skin, the soft humming and splish-splash of the falling rain against the ground. The first part of the Treetop walk -- the long suspension bridge -- was simply wonderful. I loved walking on it. Subsequently, there were long flights of stairs up and down, and I had to tear my eyes away from the greenness surrounding us, keeping them on the wet steps. Besides, I have always disliked climbing stairs (unless climbing beautiful, elegant spiral stairs). THerefore, imagine the relief when the up-and-down flights of stairs ended, in a road, a flyover, and narrow muddy paths which led us, finally, to Bukit Timah Hill. After trekking for a while longer, I headed down the hill, home. The time was 12.10.The calm inside me now -- it's called contentment. I like going out, meeting people, doing activities like playing sports, trekking, watching movies, with others. To sit at home alone all day -- to me, that's boring, that's wasting a day. Unless I'm reading or watching something interesting. I'll just hope that there would be more outings to come in the near future.Not to worry though, my mind is now full of the impending trip to Korea from 3rd to 11th December. I wonder what new experiences I'll have, what new places I'll visit, new people I'll meet, new food I'll eat.Now evening approaches, and the empty unpacked luggage beckons

1.12.05: the past week: UWC interview and SEA Games

It's kind of surprising how the days fly by, and the flurry of activity, the different events that happen. I would lose track of what happens if I do not keep a log.

26th Nov. Today, I went to UWCSEA for the first round of UWC interview. What can I say, it's one of the few interviews I ever had. I have to thank Wu Fan, Veron, and Josephine (the MGS girl I met who was also going for the interview), for chatting with me. The lighthearted chatter really helped me be comfortable and just myself-- what I really needed for the interview. It didn't go too badly, the interviewers were nice people who weren't really intimidating. As I walked out of the interview, I suddenly realised how important going to a UWC is to me, how close this dream is to my heart. But some things just have to be left to others. What I can do, I have already tried. Now I just have to wait and see. And hope. :)

27th to 29th Nov These few eventful days were spent at Manila, Philippines, watching the SEA Games. Together with 8 other fellow Young Team Singapore Ambassadors (YTSAs), we came with some other officials from Team Singapore (Yanni and Wendy and the other Team SIngapore Volunteer Leaders), as well as some other Team Singapore supporters. We were there to cheer and support the athletes in the games (we watched the Wushu, fencing and Athletics matches) we went to. Besides us, a group of cheerleaders (Magnum from Ngee Ann Polytechnic) also came with us. Though initially, there was a visible divide between us YTSAs and the cheerleaders, as the days passed by we realised that they were friendly and approachable. We cheered the athletes on together. Most of all, we helped cheer each other on during our performances at the Team Singapore Dinner on Mon (28 Nov) night. It's a pity we didn't start getting to know each other until Monday. The next day, we had to leave for Singapore while they stayed in Manila. Yet those short moments form the bulk of my happy memories that I take back from Manila -- the warmth of friendship, the cheer and laughter, the energy and vibrancy of youth. Go YTSAs, go cheerleaders, go Team Singapore!

20th Nov 05: a strange dream. nostalgia?

A padi field, windswept waves of rolling green and gold, framde by swaying coconut trees in the background. Idyllic, mystic, nostalgic. And that was where our stage performance was held. Our-- referrign to the Nan Hua Pri Pioneer GEP batch. We were holding a performance in aid of charity. [insert: come to think of it, it's a strange dream. But dreams are mostly strange-- they are the unconscious thoughts that our conscious mind can't decipher.]

The faces, vague yet clear at the same time, I can no longer recall, as the traces of the surreal strage dream faded from my mind, while I gradually slipped away from the land of dreams. The tiny gnawing at my heart, however, is still subtly perceptible, though it slowly disappeared too.

It occurred to me that I missed my years in primary school, especially those later years I spent in Nan Hua pri GEP. The laughter, the squabbling, the teasing, the fooling around, the freedom of being a child, and those little moments, snapshots in time. While I was earnestly wishing to leave primary schol in P6, I can't help but miss those pri school days when I look back now. The grass is always greener on the other side. Just like how I'm so eagerly looking forward to JC, but perhaps in years to come I'd miss my secondary school years greatly. Perhaps nostalgia only sets in when we recall the past. Perhaps we only treasure things when they're gone.

Perhaps this strange dream and the accompanying feeling of nostalgia was triggered by the Nan Hua Pioneer GEP gathering yesterday. At the gathering, we ate lunch, watched a movie, played basketball. What can I say of my old friends and classmates except that people grow and people change. The shared memories of our days in Nan Hua Pri GEP is but a brief moment where the lines and trajectories of our lives intersect, before diverging again, some lines bent closer to each other, others spiralling off, further and further. Without the effort to keep in contact, perhaps all these lines would spiral off in opposite directions, never to meet again.

Just like my friends and classmates, my cousins too are growing apart, away from me. It's a fact, undeniable. Just like how young leaves on a sapling are close together, growing together, there soon comes a point where growth results in branches and more branches holding the leaves apart, further and further away. Leaves wither and fall, while the tree continues growing.

That's the way life is.